


Erin and Me

by AnniKat



Series: The Erin Chronicles [1]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hawkeye as a single parent, Kid Fic, Parent Death, mention of child death, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 32,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24398323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnniKat/pseuds/AnniKat
Summary: After losing both her parents, Erin Hunnicutt must adjust to her new life in Maine.After losing his best friend, Hawkeye must adjust to being a single parent to a curious, opinionated 6-year-old.Please heed the warnings and tags. Thank you!
Series: The Erin Chronicles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925932
Comments: 18
Kudos: 40





	1. Coming Home

Hawkeye walked around to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. He lifted the small girl out and held her close as he walked up to the house. He was trying to figure out how to open the door without waking her, but his father beat him to it.

Daniel smiled at his son. “Welcome back.”

“Thank you. And thank you for making space for her.”

“Hawkeye, I would never turn anyone away, let alone a small child.” Daniel pulled the door closed. “Why don’t you put her on the couch for now.”

Hawkeye nodded and walked across the room. As he set the little girl down, her eyes fluttered slightly. “Daddy?”

He smiled and brushed some matted hair off her face. “It’s Hawkeye sweetheart.”

“Where’s daddy?”

Hawkeye swallowed hard. “Remember, he got hurt?”

“And we had to bury him and mommy?”

“Yes.” That’s when the tears started again and Hawkeye scooped the little girl up again and held her close. “Shhh. It’s okay Erin. Everything is going to be alright. I promise.”

Erin cried harder against Hawkeye’s shoulder. “I want daddy.”

“I know. I know. I wish he was here too.” He kissed the side of her head as he sat down, pulling her into his lap. Hawkeye looked up at his father, who was also on the verge of tears. “Please don’t. I will crumble if you lose it too.”

Daniel cleared his throat and sat down next to his son. “I’m trying Ben, I really am. I just… This is bringing back so many memories.”

“I know, I remember too.”

Daniel rubbed his son’s back. “We got through it then, we are going to get through it now.”

Hawkeye nodded. “Okay.”

Daniel shifted his position. “Let me take her for a minute.”

Hawkeye looked down at the little girl whose sobbing had turned to sniffles and whimpers. “Erin, can Daniel take you for a moment?”

Erin shook her head and gripped tighter to Hawkeye.

Daniel gave his son a sympathetic look. “It’s okay. I’m going to go start dinner.” He gently rubbed Erin’s back. “Do you like meatloaf?” It was very subtle, but Daniel saw the nod of her head. “Okay. I’ll make that.” He looked over at his son. “Just hold her for now okay? Talk to her a little, remind her that she is okay and she is safe. I will be back in a moment.”

Hawkeye nodded. “Got it.”

Daniel gave him a small smile. “You can do this. It is going to be the hardest thing you ever do, but you can do it.”

\----

A little later, they were sitting at the table, something they rarely did anymore, but they wanted to for Erin. Hawkeye had coaxed her to sit in a seat, but it had to be between him and Daniel. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at her plate and ate her dinner.Hawkeye watched her thinking about all of the things he was going to have to learn how to do. He needed to learn how to take care of her hair, and she was going to need clothes, and what about school? He had to get her enrolled, and even then, what happened when someone asked about her parents? How would he answer that question?

“Ben?”

Hawkeye looked up and locked eyes with his father. “Yes?”

“You have an audience.”

Hawkeye looked down at the little girl that was looking up at him and smiled. “Are you done eating?”

“Yes.”

Hawkeye gasped. “She speaks!” Some hair had fallen out of her ponytail and he brushed it out of her face. “I am going to give you a choice. “Do you want to take a bath and then play until bedtime, or do you want to play for a little bit and then take a bath?”

“Mommy always gives me my bath after dinner so I don’t get my pillow wet.”

Hawkeye nodded. “Alright, let’s get you in the bathtub.” He looked at his father. “I’ll help with dishes when we are done.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll get them tonight. Focus on her.”

Hawkeye nodded. “Okay.” He took a deep breath and led Erin to the bathroom to get her cleaned up.

\----

After the bath, Erin was playing with some of the toys Hawkeye had put in the car. The rest of her things would be there in a few days, but tomorrow he was going to take her to the store to pick out a few things she could play with. He wanted to make sure that it was something she was going to like and that would maybe, just maybe make her happy. Hawkeye walked back downstairs and sighed as he sat down on the couch. Why did BJ think he could do this? He didn’t know anything about raising a child. He felt his father sit down next to him and pull him close. “I feel like I want to cry.”

“That’s not a bad thing Ben, you lost your best friend Erin lost her parents. It’s something to be sad about. It might even help if you tell Erin you are sad. It might make her feel a little better.”

“Do you think so?”

“I don’t know. Every kid is different.”

“How did you do it, all alone like you did?”

“I am not going to lie, I shut down for the first few months and if Mrs. Gillis hadn’t stepped in, I don’t know what would have happened.”

“I’m not allowed to shut down, am I?”

“I mean, it isn’t really anything you can control, and if it happens, know that I will be here to support you and her, but Hawkeye, she needs you right now. She is going to look to you to see how to be strong.”

Hawkeye nodded. “You are right. I just… I don’t know anything about children.”

“And when you were born, neither did it. You are going to learn, plus you already have one advantage…”

“What’s that?”

“She can tell you what she needs.”

Hawkeye took a deep breath and looked at the clock. “What is an appropriate bedtime for a six year old?”

Daniel shrugged. “It varies, but I tried to have you in bed by 8. It didn’t always work, but I tried. Though, her sleep schedule is going to be out of whack. It is only 4:00 for her…”

Hawkeye nodded. “I know. I am sure the first few nights will be a struggle, but I think we can make it work.”

Daniel smiled at him. “Of course you can. Like I said, it’s going to be hard, but if BJ didn’t believe in you, he wouldn’t have trusted you with this.”

There was a creak on the stairs and Hawkeye looked up. He smiled at the little girl. “Hi, sweetheart.” She didn’t move and Hawkeye stood up. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m lonely.”

Hawkeye nodded. “Do you want me to come play with you, or do you want to come down here and I can read to you?”

Erin perked up just a little. “A story?”

“A story.”

She came the rest of the way down the stairs and climbed up on the couch. Hawkeye reached over to the end table and grabbed the book from it’s almost permanent fixture. He took a deep breath and started to read. “It was a feature peculiar to the Colonial Wars of North America, that the toils and dangers of the wilderness were to be encountered before the adverse hosts could meet…” Hawkeye smiled at Erin as she snuggled into him. Memories of doing this with his dad flooded his mind. He could do this, he just had to remember how he felt going through it all.


	2. The Power of Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin spends her first night in the Pierce home and worries that she is forgetting her parents already.

Hawkeye shot up when he heard the screams. He threw off his covers and ran down the hall to the room Erin had been sound asleep in. He ran to her bedside and knelt down. “Hey, Erin, shhh. It’s okay. I’m right here.” Erin reached her arms up and Hawkeye lifted her. “Shhh. What happened?”

“I had a bad dream.”

“It sounded like it! Can you tell me about it?”

“We were in the car, and Daddy, mommy, and I were singing row your boat, and then all of the sudden, mommy screamed and the car started to spin…” She trailed off as she started crying again.

Hawkeye kissed the top of her head. “I know it was scary, but you are safe now. I promise.” He watched as her hand went up and felt around the bald patch behind her ear. She had it her head pretty hard and had required surgery. He noticed she did that a lot when she was remembering the accident. Maybe it hurt? Maybe it was a physical reminder that she was actually alive? He held her a little tighter and smiled. “What can I do for you right now?”

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Of course.” He slowly stood up and carried Erin into his room. He was thankful for the larger bed, he wasn't sure what he would have done if he still had the twin bed. He set her down and then climbed in after her. Erin curled against his chest and took a couple deep breaths. Almost like she was trying not to cry. Hawkeye rubbed her back gently hoping the movement would help her fall asleep. He was going to call Sidney in the morning, if this was going to work, he knew they both needed some expert help, more than a mere surgeon could give. After a few moments, he noticed that Erin’s breathing had evened out and she was asleep. Now, he just hoped he could be as lucky.

————

The next morning, Hawkeye slid out of bed, doing his best not to wake the small girl. He walked over to her bedroom and opened her suitcase. He pulled out two outfits for her to choose from. It was something he remembered his mother doing. She never told him what to wear, but guided him in a sensible direction by offering him choices. He looked around the room and thought about how it didn’t look like a room that belonged to a six year old. He needed to talk to his dad about painting it. Maybe that was something Erin would enjoy doing? Hawkeye took a deep breath and walked back into the hallway. There was just so much to think about, he needed time to pull it all together. At the funeral service, he remembered the one piece of advice Sidney was able to give him about the situation. When things got too overwhelming, the first thing he needed to do was take a step back, and then he needed to make a list. He poked his head back into his room to see if Erin was still sleeping, and he smiled when he saw her sprawled across the bed. He gave her a nod and then headed down the stairs. He sighed when he saw his father looking at the newspaper. “Anything interesting in there today?”

“Not really, it’s Wednesday. Nothing happens in Crabapple Cove on Wednesday.”

“I’m waiting for the cover story about my secret love child.”

Daniel smiled as he turned the page. “I don’t think the townsfolk are that big of gossip whores.”

Hawkeye got a cup of coffee and sat at the table. “You have met these women right? The same ones that told me mom was dead before you did?”

“True, but I think since you are now a war hero, they have backed off a little.”

Hawkeye rolled his eyes at that. “I am not a war hero.”

“Well, Crabapple Cove disagrees.”

Hawkeye took a deep breath and looked at his father. “I want to call BJ so bad for advice.”

“I am sure you do.”

“I just… He was my go to guy. Who do I go to now?”

Daniel set the paper down and looked at his son. “Have you thought about reaching out to Charles and Max? They know what it’s like to bring an orphan into their home. And, they only live about two hours away. It might be nice for you all to get together and talk about parenting techniques. Erin and Sung-soo might find something in common as well.”

Hawkeye nodded. “You are right. I just… I need to remember what Sidney said.”

Daniel nodded. “He has never steered you wrong before.”

Hawkeye took another sip of his coffee. “I think I’m going to repaint Erin’s room. Is that okay with you?”

“How did you want to paint it?”

“I don’t know. I think I will let Erin pick that out. She deserves to have a space of her own.”

“Good idea.”

There was a creak in the stairs and Hawkeye looked up. He smiled at the tiny girl. “Good morning, Erin.”

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and yawned. “Good morning Hawkeye. Good morning Daniel.”

Daniel smiled. “I was just about to make some French toast. Are you hungry?”

Erin nodded as she sat in the seat next to Hawkeye. She sighed and leaned against him.

Hawkeye kissed the top of her head. “Whatcha thinkin’ bout kiddo?”

“I miss Waggles.”

Daniel looked over at Erin. “Who is Waggles?”

“Waggles was our dog, but he got really sick last year. Daddy said it was a tumor.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“When I was really sad, I used to cuddle with him. I wish he was here to cuddle now…”

Daniel and Hawkeye locked eyes and Daniel took a deep breath. “Erin, how would you like to get a dog? I know it won’t replace Waggles, or your parents, but it might help you find a little comfort…”

Erin sat up a little. “Really?”

Daniel smiled at her. “Hawkeye had a dog when he was your age. We haven’t had one in awhile… Really. Let’s get a dog.”

Erin jumped out of her seat and ran over to Daniel hugging him tight. “Thank you.”

Daniel smiled. “Don’t thank me yet. We need to find a dog first.”

Erin walked back over to her seat and sat down. “Hawkeye?”

“Hmmm?”

“Are there any other kids for me to play with?”

“I think I can find you a friend or two.” Hawkeye smiled at her. “I was thinking we couldn’t paint your room this weekend. Would you like that?”

Erin nodded.

“Okay, do you know what color you want to paint it?”

Erin thought for a moment. “Can we do a rainbow?”

“Like, paint a rainbow? I guess…”

“No! Paint the room like a rainbow! With clouds and rain, and sunshine… Did you know you need sun AND rain for a rainbow?”

Hawkeye smiled. “You sure know a lot about rainbows!”

“It’s science! Daddy said if you don’t learn science, good luck learning anything else.” She was quiet for a minute. “Mommy didn’t like it when we did experiments… Especially when they blew up.”

Hawkeye raised an eyebrow. “Did you blow things up a lot?”

“Only when daddy was trying to show me how smart he was…”

That made Hawkeye laugh. “That sounds like your dad.”

Erin took a deep breath. “Hawkeye?”

“Yes?”

“You are still going to tell me stories about him during the war, right?”

“Of course I am.”

“Okay. I’m worried that I’m going to forget him if you don’t.”

Hawkeye slid out of his chair and squatted in front of the young girl. “You are never going to forget him.”

Erin’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. “How do you know?”

“Hawkeye took a deep breath. “When I was your age, my mom died. Some days, it is really hard, but I remember her. I miss her a lot, but I remember her.”

“But, you seem so happy.”

Hawkeye smiled at Erin. “That is because I had an amazing dad that helped me still see the good in the world.”

“Hawkeye?”

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t have a mom or dad.”

“I know sweetheart.”

She sniffled a little. “Will you help me see the good in the world?”

Hawkeye leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “That’s the plan.”

Erin gave him a small smile before hugging him. “Thank you.”

Hawkeye rubbed her back gently not saying anything. He didn’t need to. The moment was perfect.


	3. It Takes A Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkeye asks some friends for assistance in finding his fatherhood footing.

With her sleep schedule all out of whack, Erin was taking a nap and Hawkeye took the opportunity to make some phone calls. He needed to get a hold of Sidney and get some recommendations for child psychologists. He knew it was going to be hard for both of them, but he wanted to make sure Erin got the help she needed. He survived a war, he knew he could survive, but Erin didn’t know how to navigate this and wanted to give her the best chance possible to adjust to what she was going through. He took a deep breath and picked up the phone. He dialed and waited for his friend and therapist to answer. He picked up on the 3rd ring.

“Hello?”

“Sidney? It’s Hawkeye.”

“Hawkeye! I’m glad you called! How are things going with Erin?”

“They are okay, it hasn’t even been a day, but tears have been minimal.”

“That’s good. How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you had any recommendations for a child psychologist around me, or maybe in Boston… I know Erin is going to need help, and I want to make sure she gets the best.”

“I’m glad you're thinking of that. May I ask why Boston?”

“I want Erin to get to know Sung-soo. I think they will really understand each other and maybe make a strong bond.”

“I’m glad you are giving her these opportunities.”

“I just… I know I can’t do this alone, and I am probably going to need some help too… I think I need you to recommend someone for me as well.”

“I will get some information together and maybe we can meet up next week in Boston?”

“That sounds like a good idea. Do you think later this week I can have you talk with Erin? Just to see if there is something she might not be telling me?”

“Of course.” Sidney smiled. “I just want you to know that I knew you were going to be a natural at this. You have such a big heart, Erin is the perfect person to fill it.”

Hawkeye smiled. “You know, it’s hard, but it isn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. There is something about knowing that she realizes she is safe with me that makes it easier.”

“I’m glad. Now, why don’t you arrange things with Charles and Max and we will take it from there.”

“Thanks for being there for me Sidney.”

“Any time Hawkeye. I’m just a call away.”

They hung up and Hawkeye took a deep breath. What he had said wasn’t a total lie, it was easier than he thought it was going to be, but it was still really hard. He should have asked Sidney to talk a little longer, but he was going to be okay. He just needed to be there for Erin. He stood up and stretched for a moment. He needed to clear his head before calling Charles and Max. He didn’t want to sound like an idiot on the phone, but he also knew they would understand if he did. 

Hawkeye ran upstairs for a moment to check on Erin. He was trying to give her space, but at the same time, make sure that she wasn’t alone too much. He poked his head in Erin’s room and smiled at her sleeping form. She seemed to be having better dreams, and he was glad for that. Once Hawkeye was back downstairs, he sat down at his desk again and took a deep breath. He was almost certain that Charles and Max would welcome him, they had even said so when they were all in California, but making the plans made it too real. He knew he was doing this for Erin though and he had learned in the last day that he would do anything for her. He picked up the phone and waited to be connected to Boston.

“Hello?”

“Charles?”

“Yes?”

“It… It’s Hawkeye.”

“Hawkeye, how are things?”

“We are all slowly adjusting, but I’m not going to lie, it is hard.”

“I am sure it is. It was hard bringing Sung-soo home as well.”

“About that, I was wondering if you and Max would have any issues with Erin and I coming down there next week?”

“That shouldn’t be an issue, but is everything okay?”

“Things are adjusting, like I told Sidney, it has only been a day, but there have been minimal tears. I want Erin and Sung-soo to meet. I think they could learn a lot from each other.”

“That is a great idea, and Max and I will welcome you both with open arms and a warm bed.”

“Would it be alright if Sidney came too? He is trying to find a therapist for Erin in Boston, so we can spend more time there, and he said he would like to meet up with both of us.”

“Of course. Anyone from the 4077th is welcome in our home.”

Hawkeye laughed a little. “I didn’t think I was ever going to hear you say that.”

“Ahh.. Well.. Max has opened my eyes to the importance of having friends. That is, if you want to be my friend.”

“Charles, I would be honored. I’m hoping that Erin and Sung-soo hit it off and we can spend a lot of time together.”

“I think they will have a lot to talk about and we want to get him more writing practice, so I bet he would love to write letters to Erin.”   
“I bet she would love getting some mail here.”

“Now, Pierce, how are you doing? Honestly?”

Hawkeye let out a breath. “Charles, how do I know I am doing the right thing?”

“I sometimes still ask myself that and Sung-soo has been mine for almost 5 years.”

“I just...I can never replace her parents.”

“She doesn’t expect you to. Sung-soo calls me father, but that is because Max and I are the only parents he has ever known. You have been Uncle Hawkeye for the last 4 years. That’s what Erin knows you as. As she gets more comfortable, she may ask if she can call you something else, but it has to be her call.”

“I know that. I think I am worried about people asking the question when I get her into school or we go somewhere like Boston.. I’m not her dad, but I’m her parent at the moment.”

“Have you asked her how she wants you to address these things?”

“No, I didn’t know if it was too soon.”

“It might be, but that is something you can talk to Sidney about during your meeting.”

“You are right. I just feel so overwhelmed.”

“I know you do. Remember though, I am here if you ever need to talk.”

“Thanks Charles. I look forward to seeing you next week.”

“Is there anything I need to know to prepare for your arrival?”

“Just make sure Erin and I are in the same room. She is having a lot of nightmares and at least last night spent the night sleeping with me. I am sure in a new place, she will want to have me close.”

“That is very understandable.”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “Charles?”

“Hmm?”

“I can do this, right?”

“Pierce, I have so much faith in your ability to do this.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“I’ll call you after I talk to Max and see when he wants you to come down and then you can let Sidney know. How does that sound?”

“That sounds like a good idea. Thanks again.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

Hawkeye hung the phone up and turned to smile at Erin who was standing in the doorway. “Well, hello.”

Erin smiled back. “Hi.”

“What can I help you with?”

“I see some kids outside. Can I go play with them?”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Of course you can. I’ll let you know when it is time for dinner.”

“Okay.”

Hawkeye stood up and walked over to the little girl and kissed her on the head. “Have fun.”

Erin smiled up at him. “I’ll try.”


	4. Finding Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin has to learn to deal with the cosmetic effects of the car accident and Hawkeye has to learn how to teach a young girl about true beauty.

A couple days later, Erin was starting to get to know some of the neighborhood kids. She was still hesitant to join in a lot of their games, but she was outside quite a lot. However, everything came shattering down one afternoon. Hawkeye was in the kitchen washing dishes from lunch when Erin came running into the house and went straight upstairs. Hawkeye heard a door slam and sighed. Things had been going so well, he had a feeling something was going to boil over soon, he had hope though that he was wrong. He turned the water off and dried his hands before heading upstairs. He watched Erin go from her room to the bathroom and he quietly followed her. Hawkeye stood in the doorway to the bathroom and took a deep breath. “Don’t.”

Erin sniffled. “I’m ugly.”

“Says who?”

“That Jerkface Billy I tried to play with.”

“He called you ugly?”

Erin stared into the mirror. “He said his dog got better haircuts than me.” Erin lifted up a pair of scissors and cut across a handful of her golden locks.

Hawkeye turned and walked down the hall to his bedroom. He opened a drawer on his bedside table and took out a pair of scissors. He walked to the bathroom and sighed when he saw how short Erin had cut her hair. “Okay, so this is the look we are going with.” He held the scissors up to his own head and started shearing.

Erin’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

“Cutting my hair too.”

“Why?”

“Because you are the prettiest person I know, and I want to look just like you.”

Erin’s bottom lip quivered. “You don’t think I’m ugly?”

Hawkeye shook his head. “No. I think you look like your mom and all your dad ever did was tell me over and over again about how pretty your mom was. And looking at you, I can tell that you are going to be just as beautiful as her.”

“Hawkeye?”

“Hmm?”

“Is my hair going to grow back?”

“Most of it should. You might still be able to see the scar, but you will be able to cover it most of the time.”

Erin looked back in the mirror and blinked a couple of times.

Hawkeye gave her a small smile. “Can I try and fix your hair now?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

Hawkeye took her scissors and a comb from the counter. He combed her hair out and did his best to even out what she had done and when he was finished, she actually had a cute pixie cut. Hawkeye kissed her on the forehead. “Are you ready to see your hair?”

Erin nodded and turned to look in the mirror. She smiled. “I like it!”

“I’m glad. I am going to try and fix my hair now, while I do that, why don’t you go to your room and get some of your headbands and barrettes.”

“Okay.” She left and Hawkeye sighed as he looked in the mirror. He was trying not to be mad. How dare someone call her ugly? He knew they were just kids, but after all she had been through? She didn’t need that.

He took a deep breath and did his best to even out his own hair.

After a moment, Erin returned and looked at Hawkeye. “Why did you want these?”

Hawkeye smiled at her and lowered himself onto the floor. “I want you to give me a makeover.”

Erin’s eyes went wide. “What?”

Hawkeye laughed. “I have never had to help a little girl with her hair before, I want you to teach me how to use these.” He picked up a headband and looked at it. “Like what’s this?”

Erin raised an eyebrow. “That’s a headband,”

Hawkeye slid it over his face so his eyes were covered. “Like this?”

Erin laughed. “No! Here, let me show you!” With that, Erin got to work.

\---------------------------

Daniel walked into the house and smiled when he heard the giggles coming from upstairs. Not only did he hear Erin, he also heard his son which made him very happy. He set his things down and hurried up the stairs, hoping to catch a tender moment. He froze when he saw Hawkeye sitting on the floor of the bathroom, letting Erin put headbands and barrettes in his hair. That’s when he noticed the hair all over the floor. “What’s going on in here?”

Erin stopped giggling and set her things down. “I’m sorry.”

Hawkeye pulled her close. “Shhh. He’s not mad. He’s just confused.” Hawkeye looked up at his father. “I’m getting a makeover.”

Daniel sat down on the toilet and looked between the two of them. “Alright, what’s going on?”

Hawkeye noticed that Erin was about to cry again and kissed the side of her head. “Want me to tell him?” Erin nodded. “Okay.” He looked up his father. “While Erin was playing outside, she got told she was ugly because of her scar. She was upset, so she decided to cut her hair. I then went and got scissors because I think she is one of the prettiest people I know and I want to look like her. We worked together to get our hair evened out, and then I asked her how to use her hair things because I have never used them before.”

Daniel smiled. “Well, are the two of you having a good time?”

Erin nodded. “Hawkeye is making me laugh.”

“He is good at that. Why don’t you come downstairs with me and I will make you a snack while Hawkeye cleans up the bathroom?”

“Okay.”

Daniel smiled. “Take this to your room and I will meet you down there.”

Erin picked up her things and left the room.

Hawkeye looked at his father. “How did I do?”

Daniel laughed. “You did perfect.I don’t think I would have been that quick, and you did a good job with her hair.”

“Thanks. I was a little worried, but she likes it.”

“Get this place cleaned up and you can have a snack too.”

Hawkeye’s eyes lit up. “Oh boy!”

Daniel shook his head and went downstairs to hang out with Erin.

\--------------------

Once everyone was downstairs and eating, Erin looked over at the older gentleman. “Daniel?”

“Hmmm?”

“How come you call Hawkeye, Hawkeye and not Ben?”

Daniel sighed and leaned back in his chair. “His mom was the one that chose to name him Benjamin. When she died, it was hard to call him that without thinking of her. So, I chose a name from my favorite book, and started to call him that and it just kind of stuck.”

“Oh.” Erin was quiet for a second. “Do you think you could give me a nickname?”

Daniel smiled at her. “On one condition.”

“What?”

“You give me one too.”

Erin’s eyes lit up. “I already have one for you!”

“You do?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’ll tell you yours when you have mine.”

Daniel nodded. That’s fair. Now, finish your snack and then I will read some more of the book to you.”   
“Okay.”

Daniel smiled at his son. Things were going to be okay. He just knew it.


	5. Boston Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Hawkeye head to Boston to see some friends.

Erin still wasn’t a fan of car rides, but as long as Hawkeye talked to her while they drove, she was okay with it. They were on their way to Boston to see Charles, Max, and Sung-soo.

“Hawkeye?”

“Yes?”

“What is Sung-soo like?”

“What do you mean?”

“Can he speak English?”

Hawkeye laughed a little. “He can speak English, Korean, and Arabic.”

“Arabic?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Max’s parents grew up in a country called Lebanon and that is the language they speak there.”

“Does Charles know Arabic?”

“I think he knows a couple words, but not as much as Sung-soo and Max is fluent in the language.”

“Are they going to talk about me in Arabic?”

“I don’t think so… I mean, these are my friends. I would hope they wouldn’t say mean things to or about you.”

Erin sighed and leaned against the window.

Hawkeye frowned. “Are you still having trouble with Billy?”

Erin shook her head. “No.”

“Are you having trouble with someone else?”

Erin paused, but then nodded. “Yes.”

“Can I ask who?”

“Billy’s mom.”

“What did she say?”

“She called me a foundling. Am I a foundling?”

Hawkeye frowned at her. “No. You are not a foundling.”

“What is a foundling?”

“It means a child that was abandoned by parents and no one knows who they are. I have met both of your parents, and they did not abandon you. They would NEVER abandon you. They loved you very much."

“Hawkeye?”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad they left me with you.”

“I’m glad too. You are very special to me. Can I tell you something?”

“What?”

“I always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter and you might not be my daughter, but you make me think that having one would be pretty cool.”

Erin smiled. “Hawkeye?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Hawkeye tried to clear his throat, trying not to tear up. “I love you too.”

After the drive, they arrived at Winchester/Klinger townhouse and Erin just stared up at it. “Is this a mansion?”

“This is actually smaller than the house he grew up in.”

“Really?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Yes, I have been there. Now, are you ready to go inside?”

Erin nodded. “I think so. I just… I’m nervous.”

“I am sure you are. You have met these people before though, and I can tell you that they love you very much.”

“As much as you do?”

Hawkeye smiled at the little girl. “Other than your parents, I don’t think anyone could love you as much as I do.”

That made Erin light up and she took his hand, suddenly feeling confident. “Let’s go.”

They walked up to the house and Erin reached out to ring the doorbell. The door flew open and Max smiled at the duo. “Erin! Hawkeye! Welcome.”

Erin smiled back. “Hi Klinger.”

Max laughed. “You are always going to call me that, aren’t you?”

Erin nodded. “That’s what daddy always called you.”

“Well, then I will gladly take the name. I loved your dad a lot.”

“He loved you too. When I would play dress up, he would take pictures of me and send them to you. Did he really do that?”

“He did. You have a good fashion sense young lady.”

Erin giggled and Hawkeye sighed she was opening up more and more everyday and it made him feel good. He kissed the side of her head. “She’s really smart too.” Hawkeye smiled at Max. “Now, where is that elitist husband of yours?”

“Out saving lives, if you can believe it.”

“Of course I can. That’s what he does best.”

“Well, come in, Sung-soo is excited to meet you.”

“I’m nervous to meet him.”

Max stopped and looked at the young girl. “Why?”

Erin shrugged. “I haven’t had much luck making friends lately.”

Max crouched down to her level. “The same thing has been happening to me here in Boston.”

“To you?”

Max nodded. “You might not know this, but English wasn’t my first language.”

“Hawkeye said it was Arabic.”

“That’s right. And my parents are from a country called Lebanon. A lot of people don’t like me because I am from a different country.”

“The kids told me I look like Frankenstein.”

Hawkeye looked down at her. “You didn’t tell me that…”

Erin looked at the ground. “These are your friends. I didn’t want you to be mad at them.”

Hawkeye closed his eyes for a moment trying to center himself. Finally he sat down on the couch and pulled her into his lap. “I want to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“I love you. I love you so, so, so much. You are mine now forever and always. No one in this world is more important to me than you.”

“Really?”

“Really. If you are hurting, I am too. I want you to tell me these things because I can help you overcome them. Remember what I told you?”

“I am beautiful.”

“You are very beautiful and you are so smart. I know you are hurting right now, and that is okay. Just let me take some of it. Alright?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

Hawkeye kissed her forehead. “Good. Now, are you ready to meet Sung-soo?”

Erin nodded. “I think so.”

Hawkeye stood up and set Erin on the ground and took her hand. He took a deep breath and looked at Klinger. “Okay, I think we are ready.”

“Well, you are going to have to wait a little bit because he is at day camp and Charles isn’t picking him up until after work.”

Erin looked a little dejected. “Oh.”

Klinger smiled at her. “Why don’t we take your things up to your room now, so you don’t have to do it later?”

Erin smiled. “Okay.” She looked at Hawkeye. “Can I have the car keys?”

“Going for a joy ride?”

“NO! I want to get my bag.”

Hawkeye laughed and fished his keys out of his pocket. “Here you go.”

“Thanks!” Erin took them and ran outside.

Hawkeye turned and looked at Klinger. “How did I do?”

Klinger smiled at him. “That was fantastic. It is very obvious that the two of you love each other. BJ made the right choice leaving her with you.”

“Am I supposed to feel like I am messing up?”

“I feel like I am messing up with Sung-soo everyday.”

“Really?”

Klinger nodded. “I took him away from his home. What kind of person does that?”

“You are giving him a better life.”

“And that is what you are doing for Erin.”

Hawkeye nodded. “You are right. I just wish I had a little more confidence in my abilities to parent her.”

“You also have to remember most people have 9 months to prepare for a child. You had 3 days.”

Hawkeye sighed. “You are right. The thing that gets me though is it has only been a week, but now I can’t imagine my life without her.”

Klinger smiled at him. “That is exactly how I felt about Sung-soo. It feels like he has always been here.”

Erin came back into the house with her bag and smiled. “I got yours too.”

Hawkeye smiled back. “You are so strong.”

Klinger clapped his hands. “Let’s head upstairs. I’ll show you where you will be staying.”

“Klinger?”

Klinger looked at the little girl. “Yes?”

“Am I in the same room as Hawkeye?”

“You are.”

Erin nodded. “Thank you.” With that, the trio headed upstairs.


	6. Boston Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Sung-soo finally meet!
> 
> Hawkeye has a confession.

Almost an hour later, the door finally opened and Charles walked in with his son. Sung-soo looked up at his father. “You promise she is nice?”

Charles nodded. “She is very kind. I think you will like her.” He looked around the quiet house. “Hello?” There was no response. “Where could your father be? Max?”

“In the kitchen!”

Charles and Sung-soo walked into the kitchen where Max and Hawkeye were sitting at the table sharing a drink. “Hello, dear.”

Max stood up and kissed his husband. “Hello to you too.”

Charles looked at Hawkeye. “I would give you a kiss as well, but I don’t know where your lips have been.”

Hawkeye let out a dry laugh. “I see your sense of humor is intact.”

“And I see you still don’t have one…”

Hawkeye stood up and hugged Charles. “Thank you for welcoming me and Erin into your home.”

Charles hugged him back. “It is my pleasure.” He pulled away. “Speaking of the littlest Hunnicutt, the littlest Winchester is wondering where she is.”

“She is taking a nap. She is getting more adjusted to the East Coast, but isn’t quite there yet.”

Charles nodded. “That makes sense.” He looked down at his son. “Sung-soo, do you remember meeting Hawkeye a couple weeks ago?”

Sung-soo nodded slightly. “Yes.”

Hawkeye smiled at the young boy. “It’s nice to see you again Sung-soo.”

“It’s nice to see you too.”

Erin opened her eyes and looked around the room she was in. Why didn’t it look like hers? Then she remembered that she was at Max and Charles’ house. She laid back in the bed for a moment, just listening. That’s when she heard voices downstairs and realized that Sung-soo and Charles must be home. She leapt out of the bed and ran down the stairs. She smiled when she saw the boy that looked about her age. She took a deep breath. “Yeoboseyo.”

The young boy turned and looked at her. “Yeoboseyo.”

Erin smiled even wider. “That’s the only word I know in Korean.”

Hawkeye looked at her. “Where did you learn that?”

“Daddy taught me.”

Hawkeye smiled and pulled the little girl close. “Well, I am glad you got to use it.”

Sung-soo looked at Erin. “You must be Erin?”

Erin nodded. “And you are Sung-soo?”

“Yes.”

Erin smiled at the older gentleman in the room. “Hi Dr. Winchester.”

“Remember, I told you to call me Charles?”

Erin nodded again. “Yes, but my daddy said that I should always be respectful at first.”

“Well, that was very smart of him, but I am giving you permission to call me Charles, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright.” Erin started to feel overwhelmed slightly and sidled up to Hawkeye and leaned against him.

Hawkeye rubbed her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to go play with Sung-soo?” He felt her tense slightly. “Want me to come play with the two of you?”

Erin didn’t say anything, she just nodded.

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Okay, let’s go play.” He looked at Sung-soo. “Lead the way.”

Sung-soo took the two of them up to his room and he sat on the floor and pulled a box out from under his bed. “Have you ever played with Legos?”

Erin shook her head. “No.”

“My dad bought them for me.”

Erin watched him play for a minute and then slowly reached into the box and started playing. “Hawkeye said you moved here from Korea.”

Sung-soo nodded. “I was born there and my parents died during the war, so dad and daddy brought me here so I could have a house to live in instead of an orphanage.”

“I came here from California.”

“What were you doing there?”

“I was living there until my mommy and daddy died in a car accident. Hawkeye brought me to Maine so I could have a home.”

Hawkeye ran his hand over Erin’s head. “Are you okay with me going back downstairs now?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay, come get me if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Hawkeye left the room and Sung-soo snapped a couple blocks together while still talking to Erin. “Why do you call him Hawkeye?”

“Because he isn’t my dad.”

“My dad and daddy aren’t my dad, but I still call them that.”

“I’ve only lived with him for a week.”

Sung-soo looked at her. “Your parents just died?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Thanks.” Erin looked at Sung-soo. “Do you remember your parents at all?”

Sung-soo was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know. We were in a camp at first, and I don’t know if I was with my parents or not then.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“I’m scared I am going to forget my parents.”

“You have pictures of them, right?”

Erin nodded. “Right.”

“Well, that will help…”

Erin took a deep breath and reached for another Lego. “Can I ask you something?”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to be my friend?”

Sung-soo nodded. “I do want to be your friend. Do you want to be mine?”

Erin smiled at him. “I would like that.”

Hawkeye walked back into the kitchen and smiled at his friends. “It seems to be going better.”

“That’s good.”

“I am just so worried about her. I know she is strong, but this has to be so hard.”

“I am sure it is for her, but Hawkeye, that little girl is enamored with you.”

“Do you think so?”

“I know so.”

Hawkeye nodded. “Okay. I just… I feel like something was missing from my life and she was it. And by she, I mean a child. It has only been a week, but I can see why BJ left her with me. I know they didn’t have any close family left, but at the same time, I am not related to them. I think he knew that if something happened to him, I would need Erin just as much as she needed me.”

Max nodded. “I think you are right. Now, she said kids have been calling her Frankenstein?”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “There has been one family that hasn’t been as welcoming to her as I would have hoped my small town would be. She told me today that the mother made some comments to her, and I plan to take care of that as soon as we are back.”

“These are people you have grown up with, right?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Pretty much.”

“Why would they turn on you now?”

Hawkeye sighed. “I remember after my mom died, they were like this with dad too. I mean not this bad, but they didn’t like the fact he was a working single parent. Now, not only am I a single parent that works, it isn’t even my child.”

“That’s rough Hawkeye.”

Hawkeye took another drink. “I’m going to talk to Sidney and get some ideas from him. I know he raised Daisy alone and I also know it was hard for him.”

“That’s a good idea. He said he would be here by dinner, so he should be here any time.”

“Sound likes a good plan. I look forward to talking with him.”

“How is your dad doing with her being at the house?”

“It’s great. It is very obvious they love each other too. He was actually sad we were going away for a couple days. So Erin hid drawings all over the house for him to find so he wouldn’t miss her as much.” Hawkeye laughed. “She is just so amazing and so compassionate...” He looked at his bottle and back at his friends. “I would have to ask Erin what she thought, and I don’t even know if I can do this, but what would you two think about me officially adopting her?”


	7. Boston Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Sidney have a talk.

The next morning, Sidney sat on the back porch with Erin drawing. He wanted to talk about how she was doing. Hawkeye had expressed concern that he was worried that she was a little too happy. He wanted her to be happy, but he also knew she had just lost her parents and was worried something else was wrong. “How are you today Erin?”

“I’m good.”

“How are you liking Crabapple Cove.”

Erin shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“Just okay?”

“I wish I could go back home.”

“I am sure you do. Moving is hard when your parents are there. It must be even harder without them.”

Erin took a deep breath. “It’s not that.”

“It’s not?”

Erin shook her head. “No.”

“What’s wrong then?”

“People are mean in Crabapple Cove.”

“They are?”

Erin nodded. “Hawkeye told me how amazing it was, and I was excited, but people have been mean and if he thought it was so great, it must be me. I want to leave so they will be nice to him again.”

Sidney took that in for a moment. It was very perceptive of her. Sidney and BJ had stayed in contact after the war as they had children the same age and he always marveled at how advanced Erin seemed. “Why do you think they are being mean to you?”

“Because I’m different.”

“You are? How are you different?”

“I don’t have parents.”

“There are a lot of people that don’t have parents.”

“No one else in Crabapple Cove though.”

“Well, I don’t think you can go back to California.”

“I know. I just wish mommy and daddy were here.”

“I am sure you do.”

“I miss them a lot.”

“That is okay. You are supposed to miss them. I know Hawkeye still misses his mom.”

“I know he does. We talk about that a lot.” Erin grabbed another crayon and focused more attention to her picture. “Daniel likes to tell me stories about her. I like it when he does that.”

“I bet you do. It sounds like Daniel is really special to you.”

“He is. I think he is one of the best things about Crabapple Cove.”

“You do?”

Erin nodded again. “He is going to give me a nickname.”

“A nickname?”

“Like Hawkeye. I asked if I could have a special name too and he said he would give me one, if I gave him one.”

“Do you have one picked out?”

“Yes. I’m worried he won’t like it though.”

“Can you tell me what it is?”

“Grandpa.”

Sidney smiled at her. “I think he is going to love that.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I think you are just as special to him as he is to you.”

Erin looked up at the psychiatrist. “I can tell you anything, right?”

“Anything at all.”

“I really love Hawkeye.”

“That is a good thing.”

“I know it is, but I think I love him as much as I loved my dad.”

“That’s okay.”

“Is it?”

Sidney nodded. “Yes.”

“What if I want to call Hawkeye dad too?”

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.”

“It won’t make my dad mad?”

“Why do you think it would?”

“He might think I am replacing him.”

Sidney took a deep breath and set down the crayon he was using. “You are still 6, right?”

“Yes.”

“Most people are with their parents until they are 18, right?”

Erin nodded. “Right.”

“That is 12 years away. That is a long time to be without parents.”

Erin looked down at the picture she was drawing. She looked back at Sidney, tears running down her cheeks. “Sidney?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to be an orphan.”

Sidney gave her a sad smile. “I know you don’t. I don’t think anyone wants to be an orphan.”

“If I call Hawkeye dad, maybe I can forget I am one.”

“Well, I don’t think you are ever going to forget, but it might make it easier to know that there is someone who loves you just as much as your parents did. I do have to tell you something though…”

“What?”

“If you decide to call Hawkeye dad, that means you are going to have to stay in Crabapple Cove…”

Erin took a deep breath. “I know. I love Hawkeye that much.”

Sidney smiled at her. “Well, I think that is a lot of love.”

“Sidney?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you think I could come and see Daisy again sometime?”

“I think she would love that. She told me she had a lot of fun with you.”

“Will you take her a picture if I draw her one?”

“Of course. That will make her so happy.”

“Okay. I will work on that tonight.”

Now, I want you to tell me about something else.”

“What?”

“Hawkeye told me you are still having some nightmares.”

Erin looked back down at her drawing. “Yeah.”

“Can you tell me about those?”

“What do you want to know?”

“What are they about?”

“The car accident.”

“What about it?”

“I see mommy screaming. I remember daddy trying to turn the steering wheel really hard, and then everything goes dark. That’s when I wake up.”

“What happens when you wake up?”

“I look for my parents and I get really scared because they aren’t there.”

“That has to be hard.”

“Well, then I find Hawkeye, and I’m okay again.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Because I know Hawkeye will keep me safe.”

Sidney smiled at her. “You are right. He will keep you safe.”

“I think that is why I want to call him dad. Because that is exactly what my daddy did. I don’t want to call him daddy though because I have one of those.”

“Well, that makes perfect sense and I think he will be happy with whatever you choose to call him.”

Erin took a deep breath. “Can I ask you another question?”

“Of course.”

“You talked to me in the hospital too. Why do you always want to talk to people?”

“Well, I am something called a psychiatrist. It means I help people with their emotions if they don’t know how to handle them. Something really bad happened to you and I want to make sure your emotions are okay.”

“Is that a type of doctor?”

“It is.”

“I want to be a doctor when I grow up.”

“You do?”

Erin nodded. “I don’t want to help people though, I want to help animals like Grandpa Hayden did.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Animals need help just as much as people do.” Sidney looked at the clock. “We should go in soon. I think Max said he was going to be taking us to Packo’s for lunch.”

“That sounds good.”

“I’m glad. Before we go, I want to ask you something.”

“What?”

“I know it is going to be really hard for you, and sometimes it is hard to talk about what is going on. I would love to meet with you every week, but we live too far apart, but if I can find a really good doctor here in Boston, would you be okay with visiting them?”

Erin took a deep breath. “Would I still get to talk to you sometimes?”

Sidney smiled at her. “You can talk to me whenever you want, but I want someone close by that can help too. How does that sound?”

Erin was quiet for a minute. “You promise it is going to be a good doctor?”

“It will be the best.”

“Would you come the first time?”

“Do you want me too?”

Erin nodded. “You are the first emotion doctor I have ever talked to.”

“Then I will come with you.”

Erin tried to wipe away the tears. “They will help me?”

Sidney nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay. I will go, because you are smart and if you think it is something good then it probably is.”

Sidney dropped his crayon back into the bucket. “Good. Now, want to have a hotdog eating contest?”

Erin’s eyes widened. “Really?”

Sidney smiled at her. “Really.”

“Okay!” She rushed into the house leaving some things for Sidney to pick up and he sighed. There was the six year old he had been looking for. She was going to be okay.


	8. Nicknames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin doesn’t like it when the Neighbors make fun of Hawkeye.
> 
> Hawkeye doesn’t like it when Erin gets teased.
> 
> Daniel is just along for the ride.

Hawkeye slammed the door as he went into his house. He was instantly greeted by his father who was coming out of the kitchen. “Where is she?”

“She is in the dining room. She is worried you are mad at her. I want you to know that she was defending herself and didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I didn’t say she did…”

“Right, she thinks she did though and if you go in there this mad, she is going to be scared. I need you to take a couple deep breaths.”

Hawkeye complied and looked at his father. “Is she okay?”

“She is going to be fine.”

Hawkeye nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “I think I’m ready.”

Daniel raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Hawkeye followed Daniel into the dining room. He stopped when he saw Erin’s face and his heart instantly crumbled. “Oh Erin…”

Erin looked up and burst into tears. “I’m sorry.”

Hawkeye knelt down in front of her and kissed her forehead. “Shhh. It’s okay.”

Erin tried to take a deep breath, but started crying harder. “He shouldn’t have said that.”

Hawkeye wrapped her arms around the little girl and pulled her close. “Shhh. I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“You aren’t mad?”

“I don’t think so… Can you tell me why you got into the fight?”

“It was Billy and his family.”

“I fig… wait, his family?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“What happened?”

“I was outside and Billy came over to tease me about my scar. He asked if I had a…” She paused trying to remember the word. “A lobotomy. He said that’s when they take part of your brain.” Erin took a deep breath. “I told him no. I just hurt it.I was trying to be nice, I promise.”

“I am sure you were.”

Then Billy said his mom was talking to his dad and they said that they couldn’t believe they would allow a gay man to raise a little girl. I told him you weren’t gay, and then he asked why you weren’t married.” Erin sniffled a little. “He said if my parents left me with a gay man, they must not have loved me. That’s when I punched him.”

Hawkeye closed his eyes. He knew about the rumors. He just didn’t think his neighbors were going to spread them.

“Hawkeye?”

“Hmmm?”

Erin swallowed, hesitant to ask the question. “Are you gay?”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “No. I’m not.”

“Why would they say that then?”

Hawkeye shrugged. “Who knows.” He took a deep breath and looked at his father. “Why don’t you finish cleaning her up. I’m going to go talk to Mrs. Peters.”

“Hawkeye, be careful.”

“I will be. I just want to make a few things clear to her.”

“No, you don’t understand.”

Hawkeye gave him a look of confusion. “What don’t I understand?”

“Linda did this to Erin after she beat up Billy.”

Hawkeye Was quiet for a moment. The scrappy little thing in front of him beat up an eight-year-old boy, and then took on his 10-year-old sister? He looked at Erin again, taking in the glistening cut on her cheek and the purple already starting to rim her eye. He bent down and kissed her again. “Thank you for defending me.”

  
  


After having a nice chat with Mr. and Mrs. Peters, Hawkeye was pretty sure that Billy was going to be leaving her alone and if the rest of the neighborhood was smart, they would too. Hawkeye took a deep breath and sat down on one of the porch chairs. Erin sank into the one across from him and Daniel sat down next to his son. “Erin, we need to talk.”

Erin swallowed and willed herself not to cry. Daniel had said that she wasn’t in trouble, but that was before Hawkeye got back. She took a steadying breath and looked at the man raising her. “Yes?”

“I know you were defending me, and what he said to you was uncalled for, but you can’t go around beating up people, okay?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

“Now, the reason Daniel and I want to talk to you is because there are going to be some changes around here.”

That’s when the tears started to escape. “Are you sending me away?”

Hawkeye’s heart broke as he realized she thought she was on a trial period. Hawkeye walked over to her and crouched to her level. “No. You are here to stay, understand?”

Erin nodded again. “I understand.”

“Good. The reason we wanted to talk to you is because I have been thinking long and hard about this, and you know I love you very much, right?”

“Probably as much as I love you.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Probably. Anyway, we wanted to talk to you about how our new family is going to work.”

Erin perked up a little. “I thought about that!”

Hawkeye looked at her surprised. “You have?”

Erin nodded. “Yes. it is one of the things I talked to Sidney about.”

Hawkeye laughed a little. “Me too!”

Erin took a deep breath. “You promise me that I am still part of this family?”

“I promise.”

Erin looked over at Daniel, making sure she had confirmation from him too. Daniel smiled. “I promise too.”

“Then I want to tell you your nickname.” She looked back at Hawkeye. “I have one for you too.”

Erin took a deep breath and thought about how she wanted to word what she was about to say. “Like I said last week, I have a name for you already Daniel. And I want to call you Grandpa.”

Daniel walked over and kissed her on the cheek. “I love it.”

Erin held her hand up. “Wait, when I was talking to Sidney, I told him I felt weird calling you grandpa though because you really aren’t, but then I told him I love you Hawkeye, just as much and I loved my daddy, and I was wondering if I could call you dad? Then I wouldn’t feel so weird calling Daniel grandpa?”

Hawkeye smiled at the little girl in front of him. “Know what’s weird?”

“What?”

“When we were in Boston, I asked Charles if he knew any good lawyers that could help me adopt you so you could be my daughter. What do you think of that?”

Erin went to bite her lip to stop from crying, but then remembered she had a cut there. “You really want to call me your daughter?”

Hawkeye nodded. “I want that more than anything. What do you say? Want to be my daughter? For real?”

Erin was quiet for a moment. “I asked Sidney about this, but I want to ask you too. Do you really think my daddy would be okay with this?”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “I have asked myself the same thing and know what I decided?”

“What?”

“I didn’t know your dad for a long, long, time, but something I will always remember about him is that he always wanted the people around him to be happy. Do you think your daddy would be happier knowing we are making this work together or that we are feeling sad and alone?”

“He would want us to be happy together.”

“I think you are right.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Now that we have that out of the way, I think it is time grandpa told you the name he picked for you… If you want to hear it that is…”

Erin smiled back. “Of course I do!”

Daniel smiled at the little girl and leaned forward to brush some hair out of her face. “Well, I had one picked out, and after your little performance tonight, I almost changed it to ‘Boom boom’. I may keep that on the back burner though. Anyway, I remember your third night here, when Hawkeye had to work overnight and you woke up with a nightmare. You wouldn’t go back to bed, so we came out here with hot cocoa and just watched the stars and talked. Then you saw a blinking light and asked me if the stars were coming down from the sky. So, my little Firefly, I am choosing that name because it reminds me of how innocent you are and how much you want to learn. He raised an eyebrow. “What do you think?”

Erin jumped up and hugged him. “I think it’s perfect.”

Daniel kissed the side of her head and looked over at his son as he held the little girl close. “And we think you are perfect, Firefly.”


	9. Bob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkeye and Erin discuss adoption plans.
> 
> Erin makes a new friend.

A couple days later, Hawkeye was sitting at the table eating breakfast with Erin. Daniel had taken off for a couple days to go fishing, so Hawkeye had taken a couple days off to hang with Erin. He smiled at the little girl and cleared his throat. He had started getting paperwork from Charles and there were a lot of questions he could handle by himself, but this is one he wanted Erin to answer. “Firefly, I have a question for you.”

She looked up at him with confusion. “What?”

“I am working on the adoption papers, and one of the things they ask is what you want your name to be.”

“I have to change my name from Erin?”

Hawkeye laughed at that. “No, what I mean, do you want to be Erin Hunnicutt or do you want to be Erin Pierce?”

“Oh.”

“You don’t have to decide today, I want you to think about it for a while and no matter what you decide, I will respect your decision.”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

Hawkeye kissed the top of her head. “I know it’s a hard decision, but only you can make it.”

Erin smiled. “I understand.”

“Good. Now, what do you want to do today?”

Erin thought for a moment. “Can we do a science experiment?”

“We haven’t done one in awhile, have we?”

Erin shook her head. “No.”

Hawkeye thought for a moment. “Hmmm… Want to look at things under the microscope?”

“That sounds like fun!”

Later that evening, Hawkeye went outside to bring Erin in for dinner and noticed that light in the clinic was on. He raised an eyebrow as she knew better than to go in there with him or her grandfather. He slowly walked inside attempting to see what she was up to.

“You are going to be okay.” Erin’s voice was soft, but he couldn’t tell who she was talking to. “This is going to hurt, and I haven’t done it before, but I think it’s small enough that i can fix it.”

There was a bark in response.

Hawkeye walked up to the doorway of one of the exam rooms and watched as Erin tended to a dog’s injured paw. She blotted the area with gauze and then looked. “It’s deeper than I thought it was. I may have to get some help for this.”

Hawkeye took a step towards the young girl. “Get help for what?”

Erin jumped. “Dad, I didn’t know you were there…”

“I saw the light on. Who’s this?”

Erin looked at the dog and shrugged. “I don’t know. I found him with his foot caught in a fox trap. I was able to get it out, but it looks pretty bad.”

Hawkeye walked over and took the dog’s paw as he started to whimper. “Shhh. It’s okay.” He grimaced a little. “Yeah, that’s pretty bad.”

“I got it cleaned out, but I don’t know how to do stitches.”

Hawkeye looked at the little girl and noticed the compassion radiating off of her. He hadn’t seen this level of interest since she moved in. Hawkeye smiled at her. “Would you like to learn?”

Erin nodded and watched as Hawkeye grabbed some supplies and started to stitch up the paw.

The next morning, Daniel walked into his house to silence. That usually meant it was a late night with Erin and now they were both exhausted. He quietly walked up the stairs and looked into his granddaughter’s room. He was not only surprised to see her sleeping on the floor, but her arm was over a small dog. He turned and walked over to his son’s room and gently shook him awake. “Hawkeye, wake up.”

“Hmmm?”

“There is a dog in Firefly’s room.”

“That’s just Bob.”

Daniel stared at his son. “And what is Bob doing in there?”

“Sleeping probably.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. This was getting him nowhere. He would have to wait for them to get up. He walked back down the hallway and looked at the dog once more before shaking his head and heading down stairs to make coffee.

A little later, Hawkeye came down the stairs with a yawn. “Morning dad.”

“Morning Hawk. Anything interesting happen while I was gone?”

“Not really.”

“Not really? What about Bob?”

Hawkeye smiled as he poured a cup of coffee. “Yeah, about that…”

“You went and got a dog without me?”

“Not at all.”

“So, where did he come from?”

“Erin found him in a fox trap and was able to rescue him. She got him to the clinic, but he needed stitches, so I had to assist.”

“Assist?”

“Dad, it was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. As I did the stitches, she did them right along beside me in the air, like she was actually trying to learn them. There is something different about her and it’s amazing. She is so advanced and she learns so fast… I need to call her old school and see what is going on.”

Daniel smiled at her son. “I could tell there was something special about her the day she moved in. I’m glad you are starting to see it.”

Hawkeye smiled at him. “Anyway, I know she is going to want to keep Bob, but if he has a home, he needs to be in it.”

“I’ll ask around. How did she decide on Bob?”

“She wanted to name him Billy…”

“She may be smart, but she also has a mean streak.”

“So did her father. I saw it.”

“Come on, I’m right here. You can do it!”

Hawkeye looked up to see Erin sitting on the stairs sliding down them one, by one as Bob slowly came down next to her. Hawkeye looked over at his father with a proud smile and then looked back at Erin. “How is our patient, Firefly?”

“He seems to be doing okay. I can tell his paw is still tender, but I think it is going to be for a little bit.”

Hawkeye got up and walked over to her. “Sweetheart, I want you to know that Grandpa is going to check around to see if someone is missing him. I know you already love him, but if he has a home, he needs to be there.”

Erin nodded. “I know. It’s going to be like this when I’m a veterinarian too. I am going to want to keep all of the animals, but they will have owners.”

Hawkeye smiled at the little girl. “Exactly. Now, what would you like for breakfast today?”

“Scrambled Eggs.”

“How about some toast to go with that?”

Erin smiled back. “Okay.”

Hawkeye kissed the top of her head. “You know I love you right?”

“I love you too.”

Hawkeye walked into the kitchen and Daniel got up and walked over to the stairs and sat down a few down from his granddaughter. “Dad said you really helped last night.”

“He did?”

Daniel nodded. “He did. Did you learn anything?”

Erin nodded. “Yes. Want me to show you what I learned?”

“Of course.”

Erin got up and went to get a piece of paper and a pencil. “This isn’t going to be the same, but I hope you can tell.” She started to draw on the paper and then looked up at Daniel. “The dots are where he went into the paw and the line is the stitch.” She held up her hands. “Then he did this.” There was a flurry of movement. “And he was done.”

Daniel smiled at the little girl. “It’s almost like you are a doctor yourself!”

Erin looked at the ground. “My teachers said I had a photographic memory.”

“Really?”

Erin nodded. “They said I was too smart for first grade, so they put me in second grade and then they said I was too smart for that, but mommy and daddy didn’t want me to skip anymore grades because I am so small.”

“That makes sense.” Daniel tucked some hair behind her ear. “Did you like school?”

Erin shrugged. “A little. I loved my teachers, they always tried to find hard things for me, but the other kids made fun of me a lot because I was so smart.”

Daniel saw the look on her face and smiled. “Why don’t you take Bob out to go bathroom and I will set the table.”

“Okay.” Erin ran outside and Daniel sighed. He got up and walked into the kitchen.

“I got a little more out of her.”

Hawkeye turned and looked at his father. “You did?”

“Hawk, I have never seen a kid that smart.”

“What do you mean?”

“She showed me how to do your stitches, even mimicked your hands when you do your final tying.”

Hawkeye smiled. “I told you…”

“She was telling me how she was in 2nd grade.”

Hawkeye turned away from the stove. “What?”

“She was doing so well in 1st grade, they skipped her, they wanted to skip her to 3rd grade, but BJ and Peg didn’t want her skipping two grades.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. You know there is no way she can go to Crabapple Cove Elementary, right?”

Hawkeye nodded. “I know. I was going to talk to Charles to see if he knew of any private schools in New Hampshire, or even Boston she could attend.”

“Do you think private school is the best option for her? Have you thought about homeschooling her?”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “While we are smart, I really want her around kids. She needs to be around people her age.”

“Do you think she is going to want to go to a private school?”

Hawkeye shrugged. “I don’t know, but like you said, there is no way I would subject her to Crabapple Cove Elementary.”

“Could you imagine her being in the same class as Billy?”

Hawkeye laughed. “She might actually like that. It would be like torture for him.”

That was the moment Erin came running into the house. “Dad! Look at what Bob can do!”

Hawkeye smiled at his father and then focused on his little girl. “He can do tricks? Cool!”


	10. Runaway Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin takes a late night trip to Boston.

Erin walked up to the bus station and smiled at the attendant. “One ticket for Boston please.”

The gentleman looked at her concerned. “Where are your parents?”

She pointed to where a group was sitting. “Over there. I asked if I could buy my own ticket. I wanted to feel grown up.”

The man smiled at her. “Well, you sure sound it. He took her money and handed her a ticket. “Have fun in Boston.”

“I will.” Erin took the ticket and walked over to the crowd. She took a deep breath as she sat down. Hawkeye was going to be getting home from work soon and would notice that she was gone. She just hoped the bus left before then.

Charles had woken up early that morning in hopes of being able to read the paper with a little bit of peace before his two boisterous boys woke up. He opened the door and froze when he saw the small blond haired girl sleeping on the porch, using a backpack as a pillow. He gently knelt down and lifted her up and carried her into the house. He placed her on the couch and checked her over for any signs of Trauma. Finding none, he took a deep breath. How did she get here? Where was Pierce? He needed his husband to figure this mystery out. He walked upstairs and gently shook the sleeping Lebenese. “Maxwell. I need you.”

“Then why are you standing there? Get back into bed.”

“No… We have a visitor.”

“Send them away and then get back in bed.”

“It’s Erin.”

That made Max open his eyes. “Hawkeye is here?”

Charles shook his head. “No, just Erin. I found her sleeping outside.”

“Where is she now?”

“Sleeping on the couch.”

Max got up and put a robe on. “Why don’t you call Hawkeye. He must be worried sick.”

“How does he not know she is here? She is only six.”

“This is Erin we are talking about .She is pretty resourceful.” Max ran down the stairs and over to where Erin lay. It was June, but her body was damp from the dew. “I am going to get her changed and into bed. Why don’t you call Hawkeye?”

Charles nodded. “Okay.” He walked over to the phone and took a deep breath. He did not want to have this conversation with him. There was a reason Erin had run away. Did he want to know what that was? He picked up the phone and made the connection.

After a moment, a frantic voice answered. “Erin?”

“Actually, it’s Charles.”

“Charles, we are having a bit of an emergency here. Erin is…”

“Here in Boston.”

“What?”

Charles took a deep breath. “I woke up this morning and she was sleeping on the front porch.”

“Is she okay?”

“She seems to be. Max took her upstairs to change and get some rest.”

“I’ll be on my way in a few minutes.”

“Alright. I’m going to call Sidney as well.”

“Thank you. I think he should be there too. This is… Thank you Charles.”

“For?”

“She knew she was safe with you. She knew to go to you.”

Charles had many questions, but they could wait. “Just breathe Pierce. I will keep her safe.”

“Thank you again.” With that Hawkeye hung up and Charles started to make a call to New York.

Erin’s eyes slowly opened and she looked around the room. It was the room she had stayed in when she visited Max and Charles. She couldn’t believe that she had slept through getting in the house and being put in bed. She was more tired than she thought. She saw her dress hanging over a chair and quickly changed into it. She looked out of the door and into the hallway. She didn’t see anyone, so she made her way to the stairs. She sat for a minute trying to make out the voices. She heard Charles, Max, Sidney, and Hawkeye. He was there which meant she had to start running again. Maybe this time, she would go straight to California. She slowly crept down the stairs and reached for the front door. Right as she was stepping outside, she felt arms around her. “LET ME GO!!!”

“Firefly, it’s okay, it’s Dad.”

Erin elbowed him in the chest and pulled his hands off. “You aren’t my DAD!!!!” She took off running into the yard, only to be grabbed by Max. She started scratching at his arms in an attempt to get away.

“Try as hard as you want baby girl, I grew up in the streets of Toledo and you can’t hurt me.”

Erin tried kicking Max as she was carried into the house. Once they were inside, Max set Erin down. She looked around and noticed all of the exits were blocked by someone she thought cared about her. Someone was missing though. She started sniffling and finally sat on the floor and started to cry.

Hawkeye slowly lowered himself down next to her and pulled her close. “Shhh. It’s okay.”

“I want my mommy.”

“I know. I know.”

Erin started to cry harder as she clung to Hawkeye. “Why isn’t she here?”

Hawkeye shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Why isn’t my daddy here? He survived a war.”

“I know.”

Erin looked up at the man that had promised to keep her safe. “Why aren’t you yelling?”

“Why would I yell?”

“Aren’t you mad?”

Hawkeye shook his head. “No. I was scared, and confused, but I’m not mad.” He brushed some hair out of her face. “Can I ask why you wanted to run away?”

Erin was quiet for a moment. Finally she took a deep breath and shook her head. “It was stupid.” She started to stand up. “I’m sorry I worried you.” Erin cleared her throat. “Can we head back home now?”

Hawkeye looked at the little girl, somewhat confused. “You leave the house, cross state lines, and terrify me and say it was stupid? Sit down and talk to me.”

“I TRY TO TALK TO YOU!!!!! YOU DON’T LISTEN!!!!”

Sidney decided that was where he needed to jump in. “Erin, why don’t you come and talk with me for a moment.”

Erin wiped her eyes and nodded. “Okay.” She took his extended hand and they walked towards the kitchen.

Hawkeye looked at his friends. “I don’t know what to do.”

Max sat down next to him. “I ran away as a kid, she is just going through something and doesn't know how to tell you what that is. Just give her some time. Sidney will help her.”

Sidney sat down on the back porch with the young girl and just watched her. She wasn’t saying anything, she was just staring straight ahead. “So, why Boston?”

“I knew how to get here.”

“That’s a good reason. Did you have a plan for when you got here?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“What was that plan?”

“I was going to ask Charles to buy me a plane ticket to San Francisco.”

“Why not ask Hawkeye?”

“Because he would say no.”

“And you think Charles would just say yes and do it?”

Erin shrugged. “I had to try.”

“Why did you want to go to San Francisco?”

“I wanted to see my friends.”

“I am sure Hawkeye would take you to see them…”

“He would have made me come back.”

“I thought we talked about this? That you were okay with staying in Crabapple Cove?”

Erin was quiet for a minute. “My birthday is in two weeks.”

“It is?”

Erin nodded. “Hawkeye wants to have a party.”

“You don’t want one?”

Erin shook her head. “No.”

“Why not? Parties are fun.”

“Who would I invite?”

“Well, I could come with Daisy and Noah, I’m sure Charles and Max would bring Sung-soo…”

“Those are all of Hawkeye’s friends though.”

It suddenly dawned on Sidney what the problem was. He could fix this.


	11. Runaway Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Hawkeye come to an understanding and head back to Crabapple Cove.
> 
> Daniel lets Erin in on a little secret about Hawkeye.

After about 45 minutes, Erin finally walked into the house again with Sidney. She took a deep breath and walked up to Hawkeye with tears in her eyes. She looked over her shoulder at Sidney and he nodded, trying to encourage her to talk to him. She swallowed hard and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Thank you for apologizing. Are you ready to talk now?”

Erin nodded. “I was tired of you asking me about my birthday.”

“Can you tell me what you mean?”

“You really want me to have a party.”

“Of course I do!”

“I don’t have any friends to invite.”

“Well, I could ask…”

“YOU! You are asking them. I want to spend my birthday with my friends.”

Suddenly it clicked for Hawkeye. “Your friends in California?”

Erin nodded. “They are the only ones I have.”

Hawkeye gave her a sad smile. “I am sorry about that Firefly.” Hawkeye then took a deep breath. “How can we fix this?”

Erin shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Well, you must have an idea… You did come to Boston.”

Erin started to sniffle again. “I was going to ask Charles to help me buy a plane ticket back in San Francisco.”

“Charles, huh? Why Charles?”

“I thought he might understand wanting to run away.”

“I think we all can understand that in one way or another. However, running away is not how to fix things.”

“I know.”

Hawkeye smiled at the little girl. “How about we make a deal?”

“What kind of a deal?”

“It’s short notice before your actual birthday, but we have a small party for you in Crabapple Cove, we can invite Sidney and Noah, Charles, Max and Sung-soo… Just something small and then next month we can fly out to San Francisco and have a party with your friends and maybe Margaret?” Hawkeye brushed some hair out of her face. “Does that sound fair?”

Erin thought for a moment and then nodded. “Yes.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Good. Now, can I apologize for not listening to you?”

“You are apologizing to me?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Yes. When you told me to stop asking, I should have known something was wrong. I didn’t notice though.”

Erin swallowed a little. “Am I in trouble?”

Hawkeye sighed. “I need you to promise me that you will never do this again.”

Erin took a deep breath. “I can’t promise you that.”

Hawkeye rubbed his forehead. “Okay, how about this. It is going to take us a while to understand each other, right?”

Erin nodded. “Right.”

“If there is something you are having trouble with, and I am just not understanding, can you promise me that you will CALL Charles before running away to him?”

“I promise.”

Hawkeye looked at Charles. “And do you promise to take that call, no matter what time it is?”

Charles nodded. “Of course.”

“What if Charles doesn’t answer?”

“Then you call Sidney.”

Erin looked over at the psychiatrist. “I can call you?”

“Whenever you need to.”

Erin sniffled again. “I am sorry I scared all of you.”

Hawkeye nodded. “I know.” He gave her a small smile. “Are you ready to head back to Crabapple Cove?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

A few hours later, Erin took a deep breath as she walked into Hawkeye and Daniel’s house. She looked at the dog that was wagging his tail waiting for her. She sat on the floor and hugged him tight. They had found an owner, but he was older and couldn’t care for him anymore and asked Erin if she could do that. He even loved the new name of Bob. She just had to promise to bring him over at least once a week and she was good about that. She looked up at Daniel who had just come into the room. “Are you mad at me?”

Daniel shook his head and sat on the staircase. “No, but I was scared. I thought you had left me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why did you want to leave?”

“I wanted to go back to California.”

“You really miss it, don’t you?”

Erin nodded. “I do.” She looked up at Daniel. “But I love being here with you. I just wish…”

“You were in California with your mom and dad?”

“Yeah.”

“I think that is normal. You know, Hawkeye will never tell you this, but he tried to run away once.”

“He did?”

Daniel nodded. “He did. He wasn’t much older than you.”

“Why did he come back?”

“He said he forgot to pack underwear.”

That made Erin smile. “I remembered mine.”

“Well, then you are smarter than Hawkeye.”

Erin sighed and looked at Daniel. “I can still call you Grandpa, right?”

“Can I still call you firefly?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes.”

Erin took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

Daniel smiled at her. “I know you are. Just talk to us next time, okay? We want to help you.”

“I know.”

Daniel kissed the side of her head. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Daniel stood up and brushed his pants off. “How would you like some dinner?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

“Come on, you can help me cook.”

The next morning, Erin woke up and instantly headed downstairs. She smiled at Hawkeye as he sat at the table reading. “Good morning.”

Hawkeye smiled back. “Good morning to you too. You seem to be in a better mood.”

“I’m sorry I got so mad at you yesterday.”

“That’s okay. I just need you to promise me that you are going to talk to me more.”

“I will. I just… sometimes I don’t know what to say.”

“Then we will figure it out together. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“I’m glad we have that figured out. Now, I went through one of the boxes and found your mom’s address book. I was going to call some of your friends, but I don’t know their names.”

“My best friend’s name is Carlye Davis.”

“Carlye?”

“Yes.”

“Of course it is.”

“Is that bad?”

“No… I just have a history with Carlyes.”

“Well, she is really nice.”

“I am sure she is. Think her mom would be willing to help me plan your birthday party?”

Erin nodded. “I think she would love it. She likes to do those things.”

“What things?”

“Be a girl.”

“You don’t like being a girl?”

Erin shrugged. “It’s okay. I don't think it’s a big deal though.” Erin smiled at him. “Maybe when we are there, we can see Daisy?”

“I think I can make that happen.”

“Did you know Daisy has a girlfriend? Her name is Leslie and she is really cool. She is really pretty too. I hope I date someone that pretty one day.”

Hawkeye looked at the little girl and noticed the spark in her eyes. He was not ready to deal with this, so he quickly changed the topic. “Well, would you like to call Mrs. Davis with me?”

Erin nodded. “YES!”

Hawkeye looked at his watch and took a deep breath. “Well, we will need to wait a little bit because it is still really early over there. Until then, want to come help out in the clinic?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”


	12. Happy Birthday, Erin!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin turns seven and Hawkeye tries to make it memorable for her.

A couple days later, Erin woke up and lay in bed for a little bit. It was her birthday. She had finally talked to Hawkeye and told him she just wanted to do something with him and Daniel. Maybe she would be ready next year for a Crabapple Cove party and Hawkeye understood. She closed her eyes for a moment and suddenly felt something on her face. She opened her eyes and came nose to nose with Bob. She started sputtering. “BOB! GROSS!!!!”

He barked and jumped off the bed.

Erin threw her covers back and slipped on her slippers. She shook her head to clear the cobwebs and walked into the hallway. She gasped when she got to the stairs. There were rainbow streamers hanging all the way down the stairs, so she had to push them out of her way to get to the bottom. Once she was there, she was greeted by Hawkeye and Daniel, holding a plate of French toast with candles stuck in it.

She smiled as Daniel and Hawkeye started to sing Happy Birthday to her. She took the plate with a giggle. “Thank you.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “If you want to take your plate to the table, we have some gifts for you.”

“Gifts?”

“Yes. It’s your birthday, so of course we have gifts.”

Erin sat down at the table and took a couple bites of breakfast as Daniel and Hawkeye went to get her gifts. She smiled down at Bob who was laying his head on her knee. She reached down and patted him on the head. “You are a good dog.” She looked up and smiled as a few boxes were carried towards her. Erin looked at one of the gifts and saw her name in her father’s handwriting. Erin’s eyes lit up. She ran her fingers over the script. She felt like she wanted to cry, but not sad tears. She had missed this. She looked at Hawkeye. “Where did you get this?”

“Your mom saved some wrapping paper from a gift your dad sent from Korea.”

Erin swallowed. “Is this really a gift from him?”

Hawkeye shrugged. “Open it and see.”

Erin slowly undid the wrapping and lifted the lid off the box. This time, the tears won and she started to cry. She picked up the lab coat that was adorned with the name Hunnicutt and held it to her. It still smelled like him. She looked at the box and saw something else sitting inside. She picked up a small bottle and looked at Hawkeye. “What’s this?”

“That is your father’s cologne. I am going to keep it in my room, but when you think that coat stops smelling like your father, let me know and I will put a little more cologne on it, okay?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. Now, there are some other gifts for you.”

Erin folded the coat and put it back in the box. She reached for the next one and saw her mother’s handwriting. Her smile returned. She loved that she was still getting gifts from her parents. This gift was much smaller. She slowly slid the wrapping paper off and looked at the necklace box. She smiled. “Is it a necklace?”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Maybe… Open it.”

Erin slowly opened the box and gasped. “This is my mom’s locket!”

“Yep! Look inside!”

Erin slowly opened it and smiled at the picture of her and her parents. She looked at the other side and noticed that it had a photo of her and Hawkeye. She looked up at him. “It’s perfect!”

Hawkeye closed his eyes, almost in relief. “I’m glad.”

Erin took a deep breath. “Thank you for trying to make this special.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Well, I have one more surprise for you before you open your other presents.”

Erin smiled back. “More surprises?”

“Yes.” Hawkeye took a deep breath. “So, I was able to do some rearranging, and tomorrow morning, we are going to be leaving for California.”

“Tomorrow?!”

Hawkeye nodded. “Yep.”

Erin’s eyes widened. “I have to go pack.”

Hawkeye waved his hand. “Later. Grandpa wants to tell you his part of the surprise.”

Daniel smiled at the little girl. “Well, I did my best to close down the clinic for today, but I have a couple appointments to attend to. My question is, how would you like to put that lab coat on and come help me?”   
“Really?”

Daniel nodded. “Really. Maybe I can teach you a thing or two dad couldn’t.”

Erin jumped out of her chair, forgetting the other gifts and threw the lab coat on. “I’m ready.”

Daniel laughed. “Woah… No one is there yet. Why don’t we finish breakfast and open the rest of your gifts, okay? Then I can show you how I open everything up and sanitize for the day. It’s not the most glamorous, but it is the most important.”

Erin sat back down and took another bite of her food. “What are you going to teach me?”

“Want to learn how to draw blood?”

Erin nodded, but paused. “Do you think I’m too little?”

“Normally, I would say yes, but in this case, I think you are so smart, It’s going to be okay. Now, remember, you can only do these things when you are with dad or I, okay?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

Daniel kissed the top of her head. “Now, do you want to open your gift from me?”

Erin smiled at him. “Okay.”

Daniel slid the box over to her. “Don’t pick it up. It is really heavy.”

“Okay.” Erin stood up and ripped the wrapping paper off. She lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw the microscope sitting in front of her. “My own microscope?”

“Yes, and you know the junk room upstairs?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“Dad and I are going to clean it out and make it into a science lab for you.”

“A science lab? Really?”

Hawkeye rolled his eyes. “The actual term is a play room.”

Daniel looked at his son. “I like the term science lab better.”

Erin smiled. “I do too.”

“Okay, fine, we will build you a science lab. Now, finish eating so you can get over to the Clinic.”

Erin took another bite of her food and closed her eyes. This wasn’t like any birthday she had had before, but at the same time, it was already one of her favorites. She couldn’t wait to get to the clinic and learn.


	13. San Francisco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin finally makes it back to San Francisco. Not without a few hiccups though.

The San Francisco party had gone great. Erin got to see her friends and they had all promised to write each other. The big event however was Daisy and Leslie coming up from Los Angeles to take Erin out for a girls night dinner and movie. Hawkeye was grateful as it gave him an opportunity to spend some time with Margaret and catch up.

Hawkeye sat in one of the chairs in his hotel room and took a swig of his beer before smiling at Margaret. “So, how are things?”

“They’re great. I’m still working in the military, obviously and I am currently working to recruit more nurses.”

“That’s great! Good nurses are just as important as the surgical staff. We wouldn’t have been able to do anything without the lot of you.”

“Well, thank you for your high opinion of us.” She took a sip of water and smiled. “It seems like things are going well with Erin.”

“Yes. There have been a few hiccups, but I think we have finally hit a stride.”

Margaret took a deep breath. “She told me something that concerned me, and I wanted to talk to you about it.”

Hawkeye was instantly on alert. He knew Erin was having some problems, but overall she had seemed happy. “Is she okay?”

“She seems to be fine, but she told me about running away to Boston.”

Hawkeye sighed. “Yeah, that wasn’t one of our proudest moments.”

“How was she able to make it all the way to Boston?”

Hawkeye shrugged. “She is crazy smart and remembered how to get there.”

“How did you not know she was missing?”

“Well, she left in the middle of the night, so no one knew. She came right home though when I went to get her.”

“Kids don’t just run away.”

“I am aware of that. We know why she left, and we dealt with it.”

“May I ask the reason?”

“Yes, she was trying to get to San Francisco to see her friends.”

“And you still let her come?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you punish her?”

“Not that it is any of your concern, but no. She didn’t know how to tell me what she needed to, but she was able to seek someone out that she thought was going to be able to help her. She did everything right.”

“Except she ran away.”

“Well, this is one we are going to have to agree to disagree on. She is fine and she knows that was not a good idea.”

Margaret shook her head. “I just don’t understand how you are letting her….”

“Look, I am going to cut you off there. I have talked to Sidney about all of this, and he says I am doing fine.”

“All I am saying is…”

“Look, all you have done since we got here is criticize my parenting style. I know it isn’t how you were raised, hell, it isn’t even how I was raised, but you know what? Erin is happy. Erin is loved. Erin is safe. I don’t think BJ could have asked for anything else for his little girl.”

“Pierce… She needs a mom.”

Hawkeye wanted to test a theory. “What about Daisy? Sidney raised her alone from day one and now she is a successful neurosurgeon.”

“And look at her relationships…”

Hawkeye didn’t want to dignify that with a comment, so he tried a different tactic. “Let me ask you something, have you gone to Boston to give this same speech to Charles and Klinger? Last time I checked, there wasn’t a mom in that house either. Yet you don’t seem to care. Why is that?”

“Sung-soo is a boy. A mother isn’t as necessary…”

Hawkeye’s glare turned to ice. “Get out.”

“Hawkeye?”

“Was my mother not necessary?”

“I didn’t mean…”

“Of course you didn’t, but know what? I miss her everyday. I wish she was here to meet Erin, but more than that, I wish Peg was here to raise her. I can’t change that though. All I can do is follow in my father’s footsteps. I think he did an okay job with me, and I plan to do my best with Erin. Is that clear?”

Margaret didn’t have any other words, so she just nodded.

“Good. Now, if I were you, I would head out. I don’t think there is anything left to say here.”

Margaret looked at her friend for a moment and finally took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

Hawkeye nodded. “I know.”

“I just want what’s best for her.”

“I know that too, but Margaret, you have to let us make mistakes. Even if I was married, they would still happen. Heck, Peg and BJ were killed and they were doing everything right.”

“You are right, I am sorry if I was out of line.”

Hawkeye waved her off. “Nah. I know you just want to give her the best life possible. I can’t fault you for that.”

Margaret smiled at him. “Thank you.”

Before anything else could be said, Hawkeye heard the lock turning. He smiled as the door opened and his little girl came shooting into the room. “DAD!!!!!!”

Hawkeye laughed as she made contact with his body. “Hi Firefly, did you have fun with Daisy and Leslie?”

“I did! They took me to mom and dad’s favorite Restaurant in Sausalito, and then, I thought we were going to a movie, but they took me to the Opera instead! It was a surprise from Charles!”

Hawkeye kissed her forehead. “So, it was a good night?”

“It was the BEST night.” Her smile disappeared. “Hawkeye?”

When that word was said, Hawkeye knew she was starting to get emotional. “Yes?”

“I almost forgot.”

“That’s going to happen sometimes. It’s not a bad thing, it just means you are getting used to being without them and you know you are going to be okay.”

“So, I am going to forget them?”

Hawkeye shook his head. “No. It might be different tomorrow and you think about them all day. Death is weird. Dealing with death is even weirder.”

Daisy looked at the man in front of her. “Can I share that with my dad?”

Hawkeye smiled. “Where do you think I got it from?”

Margaret cleared her throat. “I think I am going to head out.” She walked over and hugged Hawkeye. “It was good to see you.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “It was good to see you too. We will talk more later, okay?”

Margaret nodded. “Okay.” She turned to Erin. “Happy Birthday, little one.”

Erin hugged Margaret tight. “Thank you. Will you come visit soon?”

Margaret smiled back. “I plan to!”

“Good.” Margaret left and Erin looked at Hawkeye. “Can I go take a shower?”

“Of course. I’ll read you a story when you are done.” Erin took her things into the bathroom and Hawkeye looked at Daisy and Leslie. “I want to talk to the two of you.”

Daisy sat on the edge of one of the beds. “Is everything okay?”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “Erin said something the other day and it made me nervous. I know it shouldn’t, and I feel awkward even talking to you about it, but I’m just… I feel out of my depth here.”   
Daisy rolled her eyes. “Just tell us.”

“I’m worried that Erin might be a lesbian.”

“What?”

“How can I tell?”   
“Why do you think that?”

“We were talking about you one day and Erin commented that you had a very pretty girlfriend and she hoped she got to date someone that pretty one day.”

That made Leslie smile. “Well, that compliment is going to keep me going for awhile. Is that all she said?”

“She said that being a girl isn’t that big of a deal.”

Daisy laughed a little. “Well, first I want to say I love that she feels comfortable telling you these things. I would have never told my dad.”

“So, she’s…”

“Hawkeye, I’m not a mind reader. I don’t know. She might be, but she might also just be able to see beauty in everything.”

“Okay.”

“What I’m saying is, don’t be in a rush to label her. Let her find out on her own what her future holds. Just support her and if you have any questions, ask me or Leslie. We will know your questions come from a place of love.”

“Thank you for putting my mind at ease.”

Daisy smiled at him. “It’s going to be okay Hawkeye. I know this is confusing, but we both can see how much love is between the two of you. You got this, dad.”


	14. Understanding Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin tries to make sense of her parents death.
> 
> Hawkeye opens up about his mother’s death.

Erin and Hawkeye were back from San Francisco and the three housemates had fallen into a nice routine. Erin spent many of her days in the clinic except the two days a week Hawkeye made her take off so she could play with kids and do something other than mess with medical things. Keeping her away didn’t seem to help though. She would sneak into Hawkeye’s library and steal books to read. This was one of those days.

Erin walked down the stairs. Erin looked at Hawkeye and sighed. “Dad?”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “What can I help you with?”

Erin took a deep breath and sat down next to him. “I want you to explain this to me.

Hawkeye turned his chair and tried to look at the book she was holding. “Explain what to you?”

Erin leaned the book down and displayed the picture of a dead body. “Is this what my mom and dad looked like?”

Hawkeye took the book from her hands and took a deep breath. “No. They didn’t. This is what they do to people when they don’t know how they died.” He held the book to his chest and gave Erin a sad smile. “Why are you looking at this?”

Tears started to fill Erin’s eyes and she did her best to keep them from falling. “No one told me how they died, and I was trying to figure it out. I mean… I know they died in a car accident, but why didn’t I?”

Hawkeye shrugged. “I don’t have the answer to that Firefly. There are some mysteries even doctors can’t solve.”

“I just…”

“You just what?”

Erin shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“Hey, we talked about this, remember? I want to know what is on your mind, even when you think it is nothing.”

Erin took a deep breath and locked eyes with Hawkeye. “I don’t like unanswered questions.”

“I am sure you don’t. They aren’t fun.”

“No, what I mean is, we have talked about my photographic memory, right?”

“Yes…”

“I just… I get so annoyed that I can remember everything except this. This is so important, but I have no memory of it. I mean, I remember the car accident, but I don’t remember what happened in the car. I know I was awake for part of it, but I don’t remember.”

“That is your brain trying to protect you.”

“I don’t want it to protect me, I want to remember what happened to my parents.”

Hawkeye set the book down and walked over to Erin scooping her up and holding her close as she started to cry. “Shhh. It’s okay. I’m here.”

“Why is this so hard?”

“Because you lost your parents less than two months ago Firefly. I lost my mom over 30 years ago and sometimes I miss her a lot.”

“Dad? Can I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to…”

“I’ll do my best…”

“How did your mom die?”

Hawkeye sat down on the couch, holding Erin in his arms. “That is a very good question Firefly. Can you give me a little time to best decide how to answer that?”

Erin nodded. “Of course.”

“Good. Now, put this back in my library, and no more books about post mortem for a bit. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Erin walked away and Hawkeye leaned back into the couch and sighed. He knew she was going to ask this question at some point, he just thought he would be a little more prepared. He heard the door open and he looked over at his father. ‘Hey.”

Daniel looked concerned. “Are you okay?”

Hawkeye nodded. “I’m fine. Just.. mentally debating.”

“About?”

Erin finally asked how mom died. I want to tell her, but… I know it’s going to be hard.”

“I can tell her if you want.”

Hawkeye shook his head. “She asked me, and if I want her to trust me with her problems, I need to be able to be honest with her.”

“Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will.”

Later that afternoon, Hawkeye and Erin sat on the back porch snuggled into the porch swing. Hawkeye kissed the top of her head. “I want you to know that I am fine with you asking about my mom, but I need to let you know that it is hard for me to talk about still, so this might take me awhile.”

“I understand.”

“I am sure you do. Now, I was seven years old when my mom died and she died six months after my sister did.”

“You had a sister?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Yes, her name was Caroline.”

“What happened to her?”

“She passed away from something called crib death.”

“What is that?”

“No one really knows. You put a baby to bed and when you wake up the next morning, they have passed away.”

“That is sad.”

“It is, and it was really hard on my mom, so hard in fact, she didn’t want to live without Caroline.”

Erin took a deep breath. “She killed herself?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know honey, she was just really sad and sometimes, you don’t think you can make the sadness better, so you want to end it.”

“Is that why doctors like Sidney are so important?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Yes.”

Erin snuggled a little closer to Hawkeye. “I think as long as I have you, I don’t have a reason to be sad.”

Hawkeye smiled and kissed Erin’s head again. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Dad?”

“Hmmm?”

“Is this why you wanted to make sure I had a good emotions doctor?”

“Yes. It’s why I wanted the best for you because I don’t want to see you taken over by the sadness.”

Erin looked up at him with a small smile. “Thank you for making sure I’m okay.”

“That’s what dads do.”

That evening, Erin walked over to the clinic. The light was still on, so she knew Grandpa was still there. She opened the door and stood inside waiting for him to see her.

Daniel finally looked up and smiled. “Hey Firefly. Did you come to walk me home?”

Erin nodded “Yes, and I also wanted to talk to you.”

Daniel looked concerned. “About what?”

“Hawkeye’s mom.”

“What about her?”

Erin took a deep breath. “I don’t know what it is like to lose a kid or to lose a wife, but I am sorry that you did.”

Daniel pulled the little girl close. “Thank you for saying that.” He kissed the top of her head. “Did you want to see a picture of them?”

Erin nodded. “Yes, please.”

Daniel reached into a drawer and pulled out an old photograph. “This is Me, Hawkeye, Caroline, and Lucy.”

Erin smiled. “Hawkeye’s mom’s name was Lucy?”

Daniel nodded. “Well, Lucille, but she hated that so I always called her Lucy.”

“That is a very pretty name.”

“You know, I wanted to name Caroline Martha.”

“You did?”

“Martha Washington Pierce.”

“What?”

“I wanted to go with the founding father theme…”

“Grandpa…”

Daniel had to laugh at that. “You sound just like Lucy.”

“I do?”

“Very skeptical of me.”

“So, you decided on Caroline?”

“Lucy heard it on the radio and fell in love with it. I could never say no to her.”

“You loved her a lot.”

“I did. And I still do.”

“Grandpa?”

“Hmmm?”

I am always going to love you too. No matter what.”

Daniel pulled the little girl close. “And I am always going to love you, no matter what.”


	15. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin does something amazing!
> 
> Hawkeye tries to help her cope with the aftermath.

“Dad! I’m going to take Bob for a walk!”

“Okay Firefly! Have fun!”

Erin walked over to the door and hooked Bob’s leash to him. They went outside and Erin took a deep breath, taking in the warm summer air. She looked down at her dog. “Want to go into the woods?”

Bob gave a small bark and Erin smiled.

“That sounds like a yes, come on!” They walked into the wooded area behind the house and slowly walked through the leafy trees. Erin stopped and knelt down, patting Bob on the head. “You are a good boy. They kept walking until they came to the creek. There was a group of kids playing in it and Erin just smiled. She didn’t want to interfere, she just wanted to watch. That’s when she heard the scream.

She looked over and saw the body floating in the water. Her eyes widened as she ran towards the creek. She looked at the person closest to her. “Take Bob.” She ran into the water and pulled the young boy out of the water. She turned him over and noticed how blue his lips were. She looked up. “Did he go underwater?” There was no response. “Hello?”

“He jumped in, but he doesn’t know how to swim.”

Erin nodded and looked down at the boy who had to be no older than four. She thought about what to do next. She should get her dad, but didn’t know if there was enough time for that. “Someone go get Dr. Hawkeye or Dr. Pierce.” She saw a couple kids run. “What’s his name?”

“Oscar.”

Erin suddenly remembered something she had read and smiled. “Oscar, I know you can hear me, and I want you to know that I am going to fix this. I just need you to work with me.” She tilted Oscar’s head back and pinched his nose. She looked at a young girl who looked terrified. “I need you to count to 10 for me over and over. Can you do that?” The girl nodded. “Great.” She looked down and Oscar and took a deep breath. She didn’t know if this was going to work, but she had to try. She lowered her mouth over Oscars and tried to share her breath with him. After a moment, she pulled away and started pressing on his chest. She repeated the actions a few times when suddenly, Oscar coughed up some water and started crying. Erin helped him onto his side so he wouldn’t choke and rubbed his back gently. “It’s okay Oscar. I’m right here.”

Hawkeye and Daniel came running down the path and Hawkeye dropped to his knees. “Erin, what’s going on?”

Erin took a deep breath. “Oscar was floating in the water and he wasn’t breathing. I got him out and then I remembered something I read in one of your journals about rescue breathing and I decided to try it and it worked.”

Hawkeye pulled the little girl close. “You did good Firefly. Why don’t you let grandpa walk you home and I’ll get Oscar to the clinic.”

Erin nodded. “Okay.” She walked over to the boy that was holding Bob’s leash. “Thank you.” She walked him over to Daniel and he pulled her close as they started to walk home.

Daniel rubbed the girl’s back. “You did good.”

Erin pulled away from him and wrapped her arms around her body. She didn’t want anyone touching her right now.

Daniel stopped and knelt down in front of the little girl. “What can I do for you right now?”

Erin took a deep breath. “Nothing. I just want to be alone.”

Daniel nodded and followed closely behind her. Once they got to the house Daniel held out his hand. “Why don’t you let me take care of Bob and you can go change.”

Erin just nodded and handed him the leash. She walked up the stairs to her room and grabbed the lab coat that was hanging on the back of her door. She wrapped it around her and curled up on her bed and started to cry.

Hawkeye walked home from the clinic after talking to Oscar’s parents and making sure he was safe. They were going to take him to his pediatrician just to make sure he was okay. They wanted to thank Erin for what she did, and Hawkeye told them as soon as both kids felt up to it, they would get together. Hawkeye walked into the house and looked at his father. “Where’s Firefly?”

“She locked herself in her room.”

“Locked?”

Daniel nodded. “Yes. I know we have told her not to lock the door, but I can hear her crying, so I figure she is okay for now and just needs some space. 

Hawkeye slowly walked up the stairs. “Erin, you left before lunch, I was wondering if you wanted something to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Okay, do you need anything?”

Erin was quiet for a moment. “I need Bob.”

“If you unlock the door, I will let him in.”

Erin shuffled over to the door and slowly opened it. The dog wandered in and before Erin could say anything else, she shut the door again.

Hawkeye sighed and ran a hand through his hair. She just needed space. He had to tell himself that. He walked back downstairs and sighed. “I don’t know what to do now.”

“Just give her some time. She did something incredible and is trying to make sense of it.”

“You’re right. I just worry.”

Daniel smiled at him. “Welcome to parenthood.”

Throughout the rest of the day and into the evening, Hawkeye tried to coax Erin out of her room. She wasn’t hungry. She didn’t need to use the bathroom. She did let Bob out to eat and use the bathroom though, so Hawkeye knew she was at least functioning. The next morning, he opened the door to Erin’s room and found her wide awake, curled up in her bed, wearing her father’s labcoat and clutching the locket. Hawkeye sat down on her bed and rubbed her back. “How does breakfast sound?”

Erin just shook her head and buried her face in a pillow.

Hawkeye sighed. “I want you to talk to me kiddo. You haven’t had anything to eat in almost a whole day.”

“Go away.” She managed to mumble.

“Okay. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” Hawkeye looked at the dog. “Come on Bob, let’s get you something to eat.” Hawkeye and Bob went downstairs and Hawkeye looked at his dad. “She still won’t eat or talk to me.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “I think I need to call in the professionals for this one.”

Daniel smiled at him. “Which ones?”

“You’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know that Erin loves to read Hawkeye's medical journals. In 1957, the US Military adopted the use of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on unresponsive victims. That is right around when this story is set. :)


	16. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of some friends, Erin comes to terms with what happened.

Later that afternoon, Erin still hadn’t come out of her room, but Hawkeye wasn’t quite as worried as he had been. This time, he called for reinforcements and they were supposed to be arriving at any moment. Daniel looked at his son. “Who did you call?”

“Sidney and Charles.”

“Both of them?”

Hawkeye nodded. “I knew Erin was going to need Sidney, and I figured who better to reassure her about doing something to the heart than Charles?”

Daniel nodded. “Good idea. Do you think she is going to listen to them?”

Hawkeye shrugged. “Who knows, but I don’t have any other ideas.” The doorbell rang and Hawkeye stood up. He really hoped that Erin would listen to the two of them. He wasn’t too worried, he just didn’t want it to get worse though. He opened the door and didn’t even try to smile at his former campmates. “Thank you for coming.”

Charles nodded. “After what you told me, I couldn’t say no. Where is she now?”

“Still up in her room. We are on hour 33 of no eating.”

“Well, BJ always told us how stubborn Peg was. We know Erin comes by it honestly.”

Hawkeye snorted. “That is true.”

Sidney smiled at him. “If you excuse us, we are going to go check on our patient now.”

Hawkeye nodded. “I can’t thank you enough.” He looked down at Bob and pointed to the stairs. “Erin.”

Bob barked and ran up the stairs. Sidney looked at his friend. “He knows her name?”

Hawkeye smiled. “He has been a God-Send.”

Sidney just nodded and headed up the stairs with Charles. “I say we don’t say anything, we just knock and see if she responds.”

“Good idea.”

A few minutes later, Erin heard the knocking and looked at her door. “Go away.” There was another knock. “I said I don’t want to talk.” She heard Bob bark and looked confused. Had he learned to knock? She slowly stood up and walked to the door and opened it slowly. Her eyes welled up with tears and she launched herself at Charles. Clutching him as she started to cry.

Charles kissed the top of her head. “Shhh. It’s okay.”

Erin pulled away and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Sidney looked confused. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t have any reason to be sad like this. Nothing bad happened to me.”

Sidney gave her a small smile. “Why don’t we sit down and talk for a moment? Maybe we can figure out why you are so sad?”

Erin nodded. “I would like that.”

They walked into her room and Erin sat on the floor next to Bob and Sidney sat on Erin’s bed and Charles at her desk. Charles cleared his throat. “So, what’s going on?”

Erin shook her head. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Hawkeye said you did something pretty amazing yesterday.”

Erin shrugged. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

Sidney raised an eyebrow. “Saving someone’s life isn’t that big of a deal?”

Erin took a deep breath. “It makes me kind of mad I did it.” She paused and looked at Sidney. “I’m not mad Oscar is alive.”

“Then what are you mad about?”

“How was I able to save him, and not my parents?”

Charles took a deep breath and lowered himself onto the floor with Erin. “I want to tell you a story. Would that be alright?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“Did you know I have a twin brother?”

“No.”

“I do, his name is Timothy. When we were 5, he passed away.”

Erin frowned at him. “I’m sorry.”

“I miss him a lot, we were in a car accident, like you were and he didn’t survive, but I did. I didn’t understand why I lived, but he didn’t. I still don’t, but I remember how much it hurt when he died, it is one of the reasons I became a doctor. I wanted to save as many people as I could, but sometimes, I still can’t and sometimes, I still don’t know why. Things that have worked every other time suddenly don’t work anymore. Know what I do then?”

Erin thought for a moment. “I would probably cry.”

“Sometimes, I still do, but what I do next is I read...a lot. I want to learn how I can be better the next time I am faced with something like that.”

Erin nodded. “I do that too.”

Charles smiled at her. “What do you like to read?”

“I really like looking at dad’s medical journals. That’s how I knew what to do for Oscar.”

Charles tilted his head. “So, you didn’t know how to do that before you moved here?”

Erin shook her head. “No.”

“Then how could you have used it on your parents?”

Erin was quiet for a second, trying to figure out how to answer that.

Sidney smiled. Charles was doing a great job. On the way up, he had asked if he could try to get through to her first. He knew the kind of hurt Erin was going through and thought that maybe it could help them both to talk about it. That thrilled Sidney. He figured every new resource Erin had was a good thing. “Erin, do you want a minute, or can I ask a question?”

Erin swallowed and looked down at Bob stroking him. “I guess you can ask a question.”

“Can I ask why you aren’t eating anything?”

Erin shrugged. “I don’t know. I just… I thought if I went downstairs to eat, dad and grandpa would ask me questions and I didn’t want to answer them yet.”

“That makes sense. You have to be hungry though…”

Erin nodded. “I am.”

“What are you hungry for?”

“Hamburgers?”

“Those sound delicious.”

“Are you staying for dinner?”

Sidney smiled. “We are staying all night.”

Erin lit up. “Really?”

“Really.”

Erin took a deep breath. “I should go apologize to dad, shouldn’t I?”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I yelled at him, I refused to answer his questions… I was rude…”

“I think he understands.”

“I still want to apologize.”

“Okay. Want to head downstairs?”

Erin nodded and stood up. She looked at Charles. “Will you hold my hand?”

Charles smiled at her. “Of course.” As mature as Erin acted, there were moments of the seven year old that she was that just shined.

They made it to the first floor and Erin looked at her father and grandfather who were sitting in the den reading. Her voice came out almost a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

Hawkeye lowered the journal he was reading and looked at Erin. “You’re sorry?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry I was rude to you.”

Hawkeye stood up and walked over to the little girl and crouched down in front of her. “Thank you for apologizing. I’m sorry too.”

Erin cocked her head. “Why?”

“I’m sorry that you are hurting.” He reached up and brushed some hair out of her eyes. “Did talking to Sidney and Charles help?”

Erin nodded again. “Yes. Thank you for calling them.”

Hawkeye kissed her on the forehead. “I’m glad. Now, what do you say about having some dinner?”

“Okay.”

“What would you like?”

“Hamburgers?”

“I think we can do that.” Hawkeye looked over at his dad. “What to start up the grill?”

“I would love to.” He looked at Erin. “Want to help me? I’ll let you use the lighter.”

Erin smiled. “Okay!”

Daniel stood up and took Erin’s hand and they walked into the backyard together.

Hawkeye turned and looked at his friends. “I can’ thank you enough.”

Sidney smiled. “Charles actually did most of the work. He was a natural with her.”

“I know exactly what she is going through and she and I just seemed to have a connection.”

“She trusts you Charles. She knows you are someone safe.”

“I don’t understand why.”

“Because you took in an orphan too. Someone who lost their parents just like she did and she knows that you will protect her too if you have to.”

Sidney nodded. “Good observation Hawkeye.”

All of the sudden, Erin ran back into the room and took Charles’ hand. “Can I show you something?”

He smiled at her. “Of course.”

Hawkeye smiled as she led Charles into the study. He turned and smiled at Sidney. “You know, I think he needs her as much as she needs him.”

Sidney smiled back. “I think you are right.


	17. Separation Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Hawkeye have to spend a couple nights apart. 
> 
> Thankfully Charles is there to help them out.

Erin smiled as the car stopped in front of the Winchester mansion. Charles had invited her to stay for the weekend and take a look through their library. She was allowed to borrow any books that she wanted. Hawkeye had to admit that even he was a little jealous of this opportunity. Erin looked at Hawkeye. “Dad?”

“Hmmm?”

“Is there any books you want me to look for for you?”

Hawkeye smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. “It is sweet of you to offer, but I think I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, but if you see anything about open heart massage, grab it.” Hawkeye winked at his little girl as he stepped out of the car.

They walked up to the house and Erin took Hawkeye’s hand “Are you sure you can’t stay?”

Hawkeye smiled at the little girl. “I know you really want me to, but honey, I have to go out to California to do some things for the adoption.”

“Why can’t I come again?”

“Because all I am going to be is be sitting in meetings and Charles offered to let you stay with him.”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

He kissed the top of Erin’s head. “I know this is going to be hard, but it is only for a few days.”

“Why can’t I stay with Grandpa?”

“You know why.”

Erin sighed. “He is going to a medical conference.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Hey, you got to bring Bob with you. That’s pretty cool, right?”

Erin nodded. “Yeah.”

“Max and Sung-soo are going to be here this weekend too. So you will be able to play with him.”

“This is my first night without you.”

“I know, but I will call you every day. Alright?”

“Okay.”

Hawkeye squeezed her hand and they walked up the stairs to the house. Hawkeye rang the doorbell as Erin gripped Bob’s leash tighter. The door opened and Hawkeye smiled at the young woman that answered. “Hello. Hawkeye Pierce and Erin Hunnicut.”

“Yes, Master Winchester said to expect you, please come in.”

Erin looked up at Hawkeye. “Master?”

“It’s a term of respect.”

“Oh.”

Hawkeye looked down at Bob. “What do you think Bob? Want to pee on a new floor?”

“Pierce… You said he was house broken.”

Hawkeye smiled at his former bunkmate. “He is. I promise.”

Erin looked at Charles with fear in her eyes terrified that comment would get her dog taken away from her so she pulled Bob a little closer to her and took a deep breath. “He is really good about telling me when he has to go. I promise there will be no accidents.”

Charles looked at the little girl. “Hey, I know. I’ve been around him a lot. I know he will be the perfect guest.” He cleared his throat. “Why don’t I show you to your room and then you and Sung-soo can play for a bit. I need to talk to your father before he leaves.”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

After setting up Erin and Sung-soo, Charles took Hawkeye into his old study. “How is she doing?”

“She is terrified about this, but I think having her stay with you is a great idea. She trusts you and if anything happens, I know she will be comfortable with you.”

Charles smiled at his friend. “She is going to be fine.”

“I promised I would call everyday. I will try to do it early so she isn’t waiting all day, and then at night so I can tell her I love her.”

Charles nodded. “I think she will appreciate that.” He paused. “Are you sure you are going to be okay?”

Hawkeye shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t think it would be so hard to leave her.”

“I know, but you have to go out there and finish the paperwork.”

Hawkeye nodded. “You are right. I just don’t want to do something that is going to upset her.”

“Hawkeye, like you said, her staying here is probably the best option I can think of. She knows all of us, she has someone to play with, and she has Bob.”

“She’s really going to be okay?”

“She is going to be fine. I will personally make sure of it.”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “Well, I should tell her goodbye.”

Charles smiled at his friend. “I know this is going to be hard, but this is going to be baby steps. Here for a few days and then she will get better with being apart from you.”

“Do you think she is going to cry?”

“Probably, but that’s okay. She is still working through so many things. I might even have her call Sidney later.”

“That would be great.” They walked up the stairs together and Hawkeye walked to the doorway of Sung-soo’s room. “Hey, Firefly?”

Erin looked up at her dad. “Is it time for you to go?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

Erin stood up and hugged him tight. “You are coming back, right?”

Hawkeye knelt down to her level. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?”

Erin shrugged. “San Francisco is scary.”

“I promise that I will be as safe as possible.”

“Okay.”   
Hawkeye kissed her on the cheek. “I have to fly out early, do you still want me to call in the morning?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay. I will also call when I land.”

“What if I need you when you are there?”

“Call Margaret. I will be staying with her.”

“Okay.”

Hawkeye pulled the little girl to him. “I know this is going to be so hard for the both of us, and I’m going to tell you a secret, okay?”

Erin looked at him, tears welled up in her eyes. “Okay.”

He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “I am going to miss you so much, I am probably going to cry tonight.”

Erin stood on her tiptoes and whispered back. “Me too.”

Hawkeye pulled away and frowned. “Well, it sounds like when I get back, we are both going to be so happy, but I think we can do this.”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Remember what I said?”

“Grab anything I can find on open heart massage?”

Hawkeye laughed and looked down. “Other than that.”

“You are going to call every day.”

“Exactly. And I want you to have fun this weekend okay?”

Erin took a deep breath. “Okay.”

Hawkeye kissed her again. “I love you.” He scratched Bob on the head. “I love you too Bob.” He looked at his little girl. “Want to walk me to the car?”

Erin shook her head. “No.”

“Okay.” He kissed her again. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Hawkeye left the room and leaned against the wall in the hallway as he heard Erin sniffle. He looked at Charles. “What would be the worst thing about taking her with me?”

“Pierce, she is going to be fine. This is going to be good for both of you.”

Hawkeye nodded. “You are right.” He took a deep breath. “I will call tonight before bedtime.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Thank you for getting us both through this.”

“That’s what friends do.”


	18. Tea and Empathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waiting is hard. Thankfully, Honoria knows how to help Erin out and make waiting a little easier.

Honoria Winchester had always been a bit of a night owl. Most of the time it was because she was up late practicing her speech trying to get rid of her God forsaken stutter. Tonight though, she just couldn’t sleep so she went into her brother’s study to sneak a book out to read. She opened the door and froze when she saw the little girl asleep at the desk. Her hand was clutching the receiver like she was ready at a moment’s notice to take a call. Honoria walked over to her and gently pried the phone out of her grasp. The movement startled Erin and she sat up straight.

Erin looked around the room in confusion.

Honoria did her best to soothe the little girl. “Shhh. I-i-it’s alright.”

Erin looked over at Honoria while she rubbed her eyes. “What time is it?”

“L-l-late. Wh-wh-why are yyyyou in hhhhere?”

“I’m waiting for my dad to call. He said he would call before his plane leaves and I don’t want to miss it.”

“W-W-We wwwill come and g-g-get you wwwwhen he c-c-calls.”

“What if no one hears the phone?”

“S-s-someone wwwwill.”

Erin nodded. “Why are you up?”

“C-C-Couldn’t ssssleep s-s-so I wwwas going t-t-to rrrread a b-b-book.”

Erin looked around the study. “Well, you have a lot to choose from.”

Honoria smiled at the little girl. “Wh-wh-why ddddon’t I s-s-skip the bbbook t-t-tonight and w-w-we ccccan t-t-talk for a bbbit?”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Erin stood up and followed Honoria down the hall. “Can Bob come too?”

Honoria laughed lightly. “Of c-c-course. I kn-n-now that hhhe is sp-sp-special to you.”

Once they got to Honoria’s room, she pointed at a chair that Erin sat down in. Erin looked around. “Your room is beautiful.”

“Th-Th-Thank you. HHHowever, if I h-h-had mmmy way, it w-w-would be pppainted g-g-green.”

Erin looked at her. “Is that your favorite color?”

Honoria nodded. “I-I-It is.”

Erin smiled. “Mine too.”

Honoria walked over to the fireplace in the corner of her room. “N-N-Normally I dddon’t l-l-light a fffire in the s-s-summer, bbbut I w-w-wanted t-t-tea.” She looked over at Erin. “D-D-Do you lllike t-t-tea?”

Erin was quiet for a moment. “I don’t think I have ever had any.”

Honoria raised an eyebrow. “W-W-We mmmust r-r-rectify this.” She walked over to a bureau and looked at the collection of teas she had on one of the shelves. Peppermint would be good for a first time. And if Erin was nervous, it would soothe her stomach too. After getting everything together, Honoria walked back over to Erin. “W-W-While it sssteeps, L-L-Let’s hhhave a ch-ch-chat.”

“Steeps?”

“It’s lllike c-c-cooking.”

“Oh.”

“S-s-so Erin, are you alw-w-ways a nnnight ow-w-wl?”

Erin shrugged. “I like to stay up late reading. Sometimes, it’s better than going to sleep.”

“M-M-May I asssk wh-why?”

Erin took a deep breath. “I don’t dream when I am awake and reading.”

“Wh-wh-what dddo you d-d-dream about?”

“Usually my parents.”

“You d-d-do?”

Erin nodded. “Sometimes, I like dreaming about them, but other times, it is sad to dream about them.”

Honoria nodded her sympathy. “Th-th-that sssounds h-h-hard.”

“I like the good dreams. They help me to remember. The sad dreams scare me though.”

“D-d-do you hhhave th-th-those a lllot?”

Erin shook her head. “Only when I have had a really bad day. I was worried I was going to have one tonight.”

“Wh-wh-why?”

“I miss my dad.”

“I-I-Is that wwwhy you wwwere w-w-waiting by the ph-ph-phone?”

Erin nodded. “Yes.”

Honoria leaned forward and poured the tea into two cups. “W-W-Well, hhhow abbbout this. I h-h-have a phphphone in mmmy r-r-room. Wh-wh-why dddon’t you ssstay here t-t-tonight and mmmaybe I c-c-can hhhelp keep the nnnightmares at b-b-bay?”

Erin took the cup offered to her. “Do you think that will work?”

Honoria shrugged. “I d-d-don’t know, bbbut we can t-t-try. Wh-wh-what dddo you th-th-think?”

Erin took a deep breath and then decided to nod. “Thank you.”

Honoria smiled. “G-G-Good. Wh-wh-why dddon’t you t-t-try your tea and t-t-tell me wh-wh-what you think.”

Erin took a hesitant sip and grimaced as she forced herself to swallow. She shook her head. “No.”

“W-W-What dddon’t you l-l-like abbbout it?”

“It’s too sweet.”

“It is m-m-mint.”

“I don’t like mint.”

“R-r-really?”

Erin shook her head again. “I don’t like sweet things.”

“I w-w-will r-r-remember that. I hhhave mmmany other t-t-types you cccan try. W-W-We can tttry a n-n-new one tttomorrow.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Erin held her cup up and covered a yawn.

Honoria smiled at her. “L-L-Let’s ttturn in f-f-for the nnnight. You w-w-want to bbbe r-r-rested w-w-when your fffather c-c-calls.”

Erin set her cup down and stood up. “You are really okay with me sleeping in here?”

Honoria nodded. “I am p-p-perfectly fffine with it. Uh-uh-unless you wwwant to s-s-sleep in your ooown r-r-room…”

Erin shook her head. “I will stay here.”

“F-F-Fabulous.”

They walked over to the bed and Erin started to get into her side and looked down at Bob who was whining. She gave him a sad look. “You can’t sleep with me tonight.”

Honoria looked over at Erin. “W-w-why nnnot?”

Erin looked back at her. “You are okay with him being in your bed?”

Honoria laughed. “I l-l-love dddogs.”

Erin smiled back. “Me too.” She patted the bed. “Come on Bob.”

The dog jumped up and nestled himself between the two women. 

Honoria watched as Erin threw an arm over the dog and fell asleep. She smiled contently and scratched Bob’s head as exhaustion claimed her too.

A few hours later, Erin shot awake as she heard the phone ringing. She took a deep breath and waited for Honoria to tell her what to do. Honoria smiled at the little girl. “L-L-Let’s hhhead down st-st-stairs and you cccan t-t-talk t-t-to your fffather.”

Erin nodded and got out of bed. She slowly walked down the stairs and looked at a housekeeper that was speaking on the phone. The young woman looked at Erin. “It is your father.”

Erin smiled. “Thank you.” She took the phone and pressed it to her ear. “Dad?”

“Hey Firefly! Did I call too early?”

“No. I was sleeping, but that was a good thing.”

Hawkeye smiled. “Does that mean no nightmares?”

“Yes! Honoria let me stay in her room and guess what!”

“What?”

“She made me tea and let Bob sleep with us. And her favorite color is green!”

“Just like you.”

“Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m going to be okay.”

Hawkeye closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew how hard it was for Erin to say those words. He knew how scared she really was. “That makes me so happy Firefly.”

“Oh, Dad?”

“Yes?”

“When you are talking to the adoption people, remember to call me Erin. They probably don’t know who Firefly is.”

Hawkeye had to laugh at that. “I promise to remember. They are probably going to call me Benjamin anyway.”

There was a moment of silence and finally Erin took a deep breath. “Dad?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Erin. I will call as soon as I get to Margaret’s okay?”

“Okay.”

“It’s still early. Go back to bed.”

“I will.”

“Then, I want you to have so much fun, okay?”

“Yes, dad.”

“I love you Firefly.”

“I love you too.” Erin hung up the phone and looked at Honoria. “Can I go back to bed?”

She nodded. “Of cccourse. W-w-we were up lllate and w-w-we nnneed our b-b-beauty rest.”

Erin smiled. “Thank you for being so kind to me.”

“Erin, th-th-thank you fffor b-b-being so kkkind to m-m-me. I’m nnnot used t-t-to it.”

They walked up the stairs again and Erin looked at Honoria. “Why would anyone be mean to you?”

Honoria sighed and pulled the little girl close. “I d-d-don’t tttalk lllike everyone else.”

Erin nodded. “I know. You have an accent.”

Honoria looked down at the little girl. “I als-so have a st-st-stutter.”

Erin shrugged. “I don’t really notice it.”

“Y-y-you dddon’t?”

Erin shook her head. “I can understand you fine. I don’t think I have needed you to repeat anything.”

Honoria’s heart soared. This little girl was so amazing. She didn’t know how she did it, or if she was even aware she did it, but she somehow made everyone feel loved.They walked into Honoria’s room and she smiled down at Erin. “G-G-Get sssome r-r-rest. My b-b-brother has alllot of th-th-things ppplanned for the day.”


	19. Book Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin spends the day in the Winchester library. Charles II gets to know her a little better and Charles III tells Erin a funny story about her dad.

The weekend had flown by and it was now the last day in Boston before her dad came home. Erin had resolved to spend the entire day in Charles’ study reading as much as she could. She didn’t know when she was going to get this opportunity again, so she wanted to take advantage of it. The book she was currently looking at was full of diagrams of different bodily systems. She was currently studying the brain. There was a knock on the door frame and Erin looked up. “Yes?”

Charles the second smiled at the little girl. “I figured I would find you in here. We haven’t had much of a chance to talk since you got here.”

Erin looked down. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me.”

Charles the second shook his head and sat down in front of her. “Not at all. It is nice to see someone using this library again.”   
Erin looked around. “It is such an amazing place! I have learned so much already!”

“I am happy to hear that. What are you looking at right now?”

Erin slid the book towards him. “I am trying to learn about the parts of the brain. Some of them are so small though.”

“Yeah, the brain is hard. There are so many things that have to go right for it to work properly.” Charles the second looked back up at Erin. “Have you ever seen a real brain?”

Erin shook her head. “No. Most of my learning has come from books.”

“Well, I know you are going home tomorrow, so I don’t think we have enough time, but next time you visit Boston, I will take you to see one.”

“Really?”

Charles the second nodded. “Really. I think if you really want to learn, you need to be exposed to the real thing.”

Erin smiled at him. “Thank you.”

“Charles said that you want to be a doctor?”

“Well, kind of, I want to be a veterinarian. My grandpa was one and I love animals, so I think it would be a good job for me.”

“It sounds like it.”

Erin looked down at the dog at her feet. “He was the first animal I saved.”

“He was?”

Erin nodded. “He got hurt and I got him to the clinic. I only knew how to clean his wound, but dad showed me how to stitch it too.”

“Now, Charles also told me that you saved someone’s life?”

Erin was quiet for a second and then slowly nodded again. “Yes.”

“You don’t like talking about it, do you?”

Erin shook her head. “I know I did everything right, and that Oscar is okay, but it makes me think why couldn’t someone save my parents.”

“That must be hard.”

“Yeah, but Charles told me the best thing I can do is read, and learn so I know what to do in the future.”

“Well, he is smart.”

Erin smiled at Charles the second. “You are too.”

“You think so? How do you know?”

Erin took a deep breath. “Do you think Charles is smarter than you?”

“I think so, yes.”

“That means you are really smart too. If you weren’t smart, you wouldn’t want him to be. You would be scared, but because you are smart, you want him to be too.”

“Erin, you are very perceptive.”

Erin gave him a wide grin. “Sidney said that too.”

“Well, then you know it is true.” Charles the second smiled. “I will let you get back to your books okay? I’ll see you at dinner.”

Charles the second left and Erin looked back down at her book. She definitely wanted to take this one home with her and show the pictures to her dad and Grandpa. She needed to mark this page though. She opened one of the drawers, looking for a bookmark and froze when she saw her daddy’s smile staring back at her. She swallowed and lifted the photo up. She had already forgotten how big his smile was. After a few moments, she heard a knock on the study door and looked up with tears in her eyes.

Charles was instantly concerned. “Erin? What is it?”

Erin took a deep breath and looked at Charles. “I found this.”

Charles looked at the photo and smiled. “That was a fun day. We pretended that we had the Olympics and your dad almost won!”

“Who did his team lose to?”

“Hawkeye’s.”

Erin smiled. “I forgot how big his smile was.”

“I think you have his smile.”

“I do?”

Charles nodded. “I only saw your mom’s once, but hers was smaller. You smile big, like your dad did.”

“Oh.”

Charles smiled at the little girl. “Did you want to keep that photo?”

“Can I?”

Charles nodded. “Of course. You deserve to have these memories.”

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure. Now, have you found any good books?”

Erin nodded. “I like this one!” She slid it over to him and smiled. “It has a lot of diagrams and I like learning things like that.”

“I am glad to hear that. Now, would you like to come have some dinner?”

Erin got up and took Charles’ hand and looked up at him. “My dad is coming back tomorrow, right?”

Charles nodded. “That’s that plan.”

“I mean, I really like it here, but I miss him.”

“I know you do. He is going to be so happy to see you.”

“Do you think they are going to approve the adoption?”

“I don’t see why they would say no…”

“He doesn’t have a wife.”

“Neither do I, but I was still able to adopt…”

Erin was quiet for a moment. “Klinger kind of counts as a mom…”

Charles suppressed a smile. “I suppose you are right.”

“If they tell him no, do you think they are going to take me away from him?”

Charles stopped and knelt down to look at Erin. “Erin, I don’t think your dad would let that happen for one moment.”

“But…”

“No buts. I wouldn’t let it happen either. If someone tried to take you away, I would buy you that plane ticket you so desperately want and get you somewhere safe. Understand?”

Erin nodded. “I understand.”

“Now, are you ready for dinner? I think Honoria has a new tea for you to try.”

Erin smiled. “That sounds great.”

After dinner, Erin was in the playroom with Sung-soo and they were building with Legos again. Erin sighed. “I’m happy that my dad is coming home tomorrow, but I wish I didn’t have to leave you.”

“Are you still having trouble making friends?”

Erin nodded. “They aren’t mean to me anymore since I saved Oscar, but now it is almost like they are scared of me. I just… I miss my California friends and I miss you.”

“I think Hawkeye would bring you here anytime you want. All you have to do is ask him.”

“I know, but I think he wants me to make friends in Crabapple Cove too. I want to stay with dad, but I wish we lived somewhere else.”

“Have you asked him if you can?”

“If I can what?”

“Move to somewhere else?”

Erin looked up. “I couldn’t ask him to pack up and leave everything.”

“He did it to you…”

“Yeah, and I don’t like how it feels, so why would I do that to him?”

“True…”

“Do you ever miss Korea?”

“I don’t really remember it, so I can’t really say. “

“Oh.”

“I am happy here though, and I am happy to finally have a friend.”

Erin stopped what she was doing and looked at him. “Are you talking about me?”

Sung-soo nodded. “You are my first real friend and I like having you around.”

Erin smiled at him. “I like being around you too.”

Sung-soo smiled back and they continued on their building.


	20. The Verdict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkeye comes back from California with news about the adoption.
> 
> The Winchesters offer their support after the decision is revealed.

Hawkeye pulled up to the house and parked his car. On a scale of 1-10, those meetings were about a 7. It wasn’t awful, but it could have gone better too. Now, there were even more decisions to make, but first, he had to tell Erin the news. He got out of the car with a sigh and grabbed a briefcase before walking up to the house. After ringing the doorbell, he waited for someone to acknowledge him. He smiled when Honoria actually opened the door. “I didn’t think you were allowed to open the door.”

Honoria smiled back. “I lllike t-t-to bbbreak the r-r-rules sssometimes.”

“Huh, you sound like my kind of gal…” Hawkeye froze. He didn’t want to screw this up. “I didn’t mean…”

Honoria rolled her eyes. “I c-c-can tttake a j-j-joke.”

They walked into the house and Hawkeye looked around, “Where is Erin? I thought she would have her nose pressed against the window waiting for me.”

Charles and Max joined them from the dining room. “She has been in hiding most of the day.”

“In hiding?”

Charles nodded. “She is scared. I told her that she is allowed to hide, but one of us has to know where she is. She told Max.”

Hawkeye smiled at his friend. “And I know you are going to keep her secret.”

Max smiled back. “Til the grave.”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “ERIN ILSA PIERCE! COME DOWNSTAIRS NOW!”

There was a moment of silence and then Hawkeye heard the footsteps. Erin came running down the stairs. “What did you call me?”

“Erin Ilsa Pierce.” He swallowed hard. “That is the name you wanted to go with, right?”

Erin nodded. “Right.” She bit her lip gently. “Does that mean they said yes?”

Hawkeye nodded. “It means they said yes.”

Erin launched herself at Hawkeye and started to cry. “Thank you.”

Hawkeye rubbed her back. “What are you thanking me for?”

“For wanting me.”

Hawkeye kissed the top of her head. “Thank you for letting me take care of you.”

Erin pulled away and wiped her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Why don’t you go your things together and get whatever books you are taking? I need to talk to Charles and Honoria for a moment.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. I just want them to look over some of the papers the lawyers sent home with me.”

“Okay.”

Max saw the look on Hawkeye’s face and smiled at Erin. “Why don’t I help you? That might make it go faster.”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

They walked up the stairs and Hawkeye took a deep breath. “Can we go sit somewhere and talk?”

“Of course.” Charles led him into the sitting room. “Is everything alright?”

Hawkeye closed his eyes as he sat down and tried to focus before opening them again. “I want to thank both of you for what you did for Erin this weekend. It is very obvious that she loves your family and Honoria, just having you in her life is a blessing.”

Honoria smiled. “Th-th-thank you.”

Charles looked at his friend. “Did something happen at the meeting?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Yes. They did approve the adoption, but it was conditional.”

Confusion crossed Charles’ face. “Conditional on what?”

Hawkeye paused, trying to decide how he wanted to explain the situation. “There were a couple concerns.”

“Such as?”

“No female influence in her life. I tried to assure them that there were many women in her life that would be willing to step up if she needed someone, but the lawyer said it would look better if there was a woman that was willing to sign on as a secondary guardian.” Hawkeye reached into his briefcase and pulled out a stack of papers. “All I could see was Erin getting taken away from me. I know that isn’t logical, but in that moment I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind.”

Charles raised an eyebrow. “And that was?”

“Honoria Winchester is willing.” He looked at the papers and then back up at Honoria. “I know I shouldn’t have said it, especially without asking you first. I understand that you probably don’t want to do this, all I ask is that you give me time to talk to someone else. Daisy or Margaret…”

Hawkeye continued to ramble when finally, Honoria held her hand up in an attempt to silence Hawkeye. When that didn’t work, she reached over and took the stack of papers from his hand and started to read over them. She stood up and walked over to the desk in the corner of the room. Acutely aware of the sudden silence, she picked up a pen, and signed the line above her printed name. She walked back over and without a word, handed the stack back to Hawkeye and sat down. “We c-c-can fffigure out v-v-visitation lllater.”

Charles looked at his little sister. “Are you mad?”

Honoria smiled at him. “No.”

Hawkeye started to tear up. “Are you sure?”

Honoria nodded. “I have nnnever bbbeen m-m-more sssure of anyth-th-thing.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.”

“I th-th-think I dddo.”

Charles took a deep breath. “Honoria, not to take away from the moment, but you need to talk to mother and father first.”

“N-n-no, I dddon’t. I am an ad-d-dult. I cccan mmmake mmmy own d-d-decisions.”

Hawkeye looked between them. “I know it isn’t going to be this simple. Honoria, talk to your lawyers and make sure this is okay. We don’t have to make a decision today.”

“H-h-hawkkkkeye, I kn-n-now wh-wh-what I am dddoing.”

“I know you do, but I want this to be as smooth as possible for Erin. I will hold onto these papers for now, and why don’t we revisit this next weekend?”

Honoria frowned slightly. “If you are sssure?”

Hawkeye nodded. “I am. Like I said, I love that you are willing to do this, but I need to keep Erin’s needs first and foremost. I don’t want to tell her that you are going to be in her life and then have to tell her that you can’t anymore. I realize you have a lot of duty in this world that I will never understand, but I know that it is important to you.”

Charles cleared his throat. “I thank you for understanding. Now, how would you like to stay for dinner?”

“That sounds like a good idea. I know Erin would love it too.”

Once everyone was sitting at the table, Charles looked over at Erin. “You’ve got a pretty big smile on your face Miss Pierce.”

Erin looked up at Charles. “I think this is one of the best days of my life.”

“I am sure it is. Now, I have a question for you, Hawkeye called you ‘Erin Ilsa Pierce’. Where did Ilsa come from?”

“My mom and dad went on their first date to see Casablanca as it is one of my mom’s favorite movies. She loved it so much, she gave me Ilsa as a middle name.”

“Well, it is a beautiful name.”

“Thank you.” Erin looked at Hawkeye. “Dad?”

“Hmmm?”

“I found a really good journal article about open heart massage!”

“You did?”

Erin nodded. “Yes. And want to know something?”

“What?”

“My dad wrote it!”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “I was hoping that was what you were going to find!”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted you to be surprised.”

“I was. And Mr. Winchester also gave me a new book!”

“He did?”

Erin nodded again. “It’s called Gray’s Anatomy. It has so many illustrations that let you see inside the body. He said I could keep it.”

“Really?”

Charles the second cleared his throat. “Most of those books are just collecting dust as Charles and I have our own copies in our offices. Anything that will help her learn is hers for the taking.”

Hawkeye smiled at the gentleman sitting across from him. “Thank you so much. She likes education so much, and while I have a lot of resources, I don’t think anything can compare to what you have.”

“Oh, dad, Mr. Winchester said next time I come, he is going to take me to see a real brain!”

“He is?”

Erin nodded. “He said the best way to learn is exposure.”

“I think that is true. We will have to find a good time for you to come see him.” Hawkeye smiled at his little girl. “What else did you do this weekend?”

“Honoria helped me to find a tea I like since I told her that I had never had it before and Mrs. Winchester took me out into the gardens and showed me her award winning roses. I didn’t know they came in so many colors! Klinger gave me some material and I practiced my stitching with Charles and Sung-soo and I just played together a lot.” Erin finally took a breath. “It was the best weekend ever.”

Hawkeye smiled and took another bite of his food. “I am glad to hear it.”


	21. An Easy Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honoria visits Crabapple Cove with her decision about the paperwork.
> 
> Erin turns to science to calm her, with interesting results.

Honoria put the car in park and looked at the house in front of her. It was quaint. She couldn’t think of any other way to describe it. She took a deep breath and picked up the stack of papers on the passenger seat next to her. She wasn’t sure how Hawkeye was going to react to her proposal, but she needed to make him understand it was in Erin’s best interests. She walked up to the house and rang the doorbell.

The door flew open and Erin smiled at the tall woman in front of her. “Hi Honoria!”

“H-H-Hello Erin. H-h-how are you?”

“I am well, please, come inside. Dad and Grandpa are finishing up some things at the clinic.”

Honoria followed Erin into the house and looked around. It was small, but she could feel the love inside. She noticed that almost every wall had a drawing hung on it. She walked over to one and smiled. “D-D-Did you d-d-draw thessse?”

Erin nodded. “Yes. I love drawing.”

“D-D-Do you th-th-think you cccould mmmake me one?”

Erin’s smile got even wider. “I would love to!” The front door opened and Erin turned. “Hi dad, hi Grandpa.”

Hawkeye smiled at the little girl. “Hey Firefly.” He walked over and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you for greeting Honoria.”

Erin nodded. “Of course.”

Hawkeye could see the fear in Erin’s eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Erin bit her lip. “What if the lawyers found something wrong in the paper work?”

Hawkeye lifted Erin up and pulled her close as he sat down on the couch. “Well then Erin Ilsa, we dye our hair and go on the run. What do you say about Paris?”

“Can I dye my hair green?”

“Sure.”

“Really?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Since I know there isn’t anything wrong with the paperwork, I can say yes, if we have to go on the run, you can dye your hair green.”

Erin smiled. “Okay.” She looked over at Daniel and stood up taking his hand. “Want to go science?”

Daniel laughed. “I would love to.” He looked at his son and Honoria. “Come get us when you are done and I will take us all to dinner.”

Once Erin and Daniel had made their way upstairs, Hawkeye looked at Honoria. “Did I just lie to her?”

Honoria looked confused. “Wh-wh-what dddo you m-m-mean?”

“Was there something wrong with the paperwork?”

Honoria took a deep breath. “N-N-Not exxxactttly.” She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Wh-wh-while the original pppaperwwwork was accccceptable, I d-d-did request a c-c-couple ch-ch-changes.” Honoria could tell she was showing her nervousness. She could barely get one word out without a stutter. “I w-w-would ask you tttake a m-m-momet and llllook them over wh-wh-where tttthey are t-t-tabbed.”

Hawkeye took the stack of papers and started to leaf through them. So far everything looked acceptable, but then he got to the last page and read the statement.

I, the undersigned, understand by signing this document, the custody and care of the minor child Erin Ilsa Hunnicutt, is jointly given to Benjamin Franklin Pierce, father, and Honoria Christine Winchester, mother. Both parties will work together to decide what is in the best interests of the minor child.

Honoria Christine Winchester

Hawkeye looked up with tears in his eyes. “I wasn’t asking…”

Honoria nodded. “I know.” She took another deep breath and put her hands on Hawkeye’s. “Y-y-you are dddoing s-s-something ammmazing. Y-y-you are gggiving Erin op-p-portunities I dddin’t have even w-w-with my mmmoney. I w-w-want ttto mmmake sssure ssshe h-h-has them.” Honoria sighed and looked down. Her voice betrayed her again.

Hawkeye brought Honoria’s hands to his lips and kissed them gently. “Thank you. I can hear the emotion in your voice and it tells me your decision is from the heart.” Hawkeye smiled at her. “I can’t think of anyone else I would want on this journey with me.”

Honoria took a deep breath. W-we have ssso m-much to d-d-discuss. Mmmay I st-st-stay the weekend?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Of course. You are always welcome here. Now, I think we should tell Erin.”

“I w-w-would lllike to, if that is alr-r-right wwwith you.”

“Yes. Why don’t you go upstairs and tell her? I will talk to my dad while you do.”

Honoria nodded and stood up. “Y-you are r-really okay wwwith this?”

Hawkeye gave Honoria a bright smile. “I am so okay with this…”

Honoria smiled back and headed up the stairs. Once she got to the top, she stood outside of Erin’s playroom and just watched her for a bit. She was so smart, it made Honoria’s heart happy. This little girl was so different from what she had been raised to be. She cleared her throat as she stepped into the room. “W-What’s going on hhhere?”

Erin looked up at the woman from behind safety goggles. “We are making a volcano.”

“M-may I help?”

Erin gave an enthusiastic nod. “Yes!”

Honoria looked at Daniel. “H-H-Hawkkkeye would lllike to t-talk to you.”

Daniel nodded. “Got it.” He kissed Erin on the top of her head before standing up. “Be gentle with Honoria. Okay?”

Erin nodded again. “I will be.”

Honoria slipped on the glasses that Daniel had handed her and sat down. “W-W-What do I need to do?”

Erin took a deep breath. “This is going to get really messy…”

“Th-that’s okay. M-m-messes are okay. Sssometimes.”

Erin picked up a bottle and handed it to Honoria. “Okay. When I tell you, pour this into the hole.”

“Right.”

Erin mixed a couple things and explained what she was doing to Honoria. “Do you think it’s weird that I like science so much?”

“N-n-not at all F-F-Firefly.”

Erin stopped what she was doing and looked at Honoria. “What did you just call me?”

“F-F-Firefly. Th-th-that is your nnnicknnname, isn’t it?”

Erin nodded. “Yes, but you have never called me that before.”

“W-W-Well, your g-g-grandfffather calls you th-that, your fffather c-c-calls you that… your m-m-mother shhhhould too.”

Honoria watched as Erin played with the words in her mind. “My mother?”

Honoria nodded. “The p-p-papers are sssigned and it’s official. I AM your mmmother.”

Erin’s face crumbled and she launched herself at Honoria. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Honoria kissed the side of her head. “Shhh. It’s okay.”

Erin started to cry as Honoria held her tight. “I promise I am going to be the best daughter and I will do everything I can to fit in with the rest of the Winchesters.”

Honoria pulled away a little and looked at the little girl. “I-is that wh-what you ttthink? I w-w-want you becccause you fffit in wwwith the W-W-Winchesters? Erin, I lllove you because you d-d-don’t.”

“Really?”

“You are sssmart, c-c-curious, and k-k-kind. You are P-P-Perfect.”

Erin smiled at her mother. “And I think you are perfect too.”

“Y-you do? W-W-Why?”

Erin took a deep breath. “You didn’t tease me for being scared, you tried to help me learn something new, and even though you said people are mean to you, you still want to be kind.”

Honoria kissed the top of Erin’s head. “I th-th-think we are gggoing to be okay.” She smiled. “Now, v-v-volcano or dddinner?”

Erin smiled even wider. “Volcano.” She looked at her experiment again and took a deep breath. “On the count of three, pour. One, two, three.”

Erin and Honoria both poured a vile into the hole and the volcano started bubbling and oozing when suddenly, orange lava shot out and hit the ceiling. Dripping down on both of them. Erin looked up. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Honoria sighed and looked at the orange speckles on her dress. “W-w-well, it did.”

Erin’s lip started to quiver. “I’m sorry.”

Honoria looked over at her. “Wh-what are you sssorry fffor?”

“I ruined your dress. I should have been more careful.”

Honoria pulled Erin close and brushed the orange tinged bangs out of her eyes. “N-No need ttto apppologize. Y-you didn’t hhhurt me. And, you dddid w-w-warn me that it w-w-was going ttto bbbe messy.”

“You promise you aren’t mad?”

“I p-p-promise. L-L-Let’s ccclean up and maybe after dddinner, we c-c-can do sssomething a l-l-little less messy? Hmm?”

Erin nodded and wiped her eyes. “Okay.”

Honoria kissed the top of her head. “I love you.”

Erin looked up at her mother with a smile. “I love you too.” She paused for a moment. “Hey, you didn’t stutter…”

“Th-th-that is the one sssentence I c-c-can ggget out w-w-without it.”

Erin smiled wider. “Well, it’s an important one.”

“Indeed.”


	22. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawkeye, Honoria, and Erin try to figure out how to make their new family situation work.
> 
> Daniel tried to ease Erin’s anxiety over the changes coming in her life.

The new family had enjoyed a nice dinner and the next morning they were all sitting around the table discussing what the next steps were going to be.

Honoria took a deep breath. “Mmmy f-f-first qu-question would bbbe, are you r-r-receptive to mmmoving?”

Hawkeye tilted his head slightly. “Moving? To where?”

“B-B-Boston. I wwwas looking and f-f-found a ssschool that I th-th-think Erin would excel at.”

“What kind of school?”

“A s-s-science ssschool for g-g-girls.”

Erin perked up. “A science school?”

Honoria nodded. “Yes.”

Hawkeye saw the light in Erin’s eyes and couldn’t help smiling. She deserved a chance. “I wouldn’t be against moving, but some of the things to think about are housing and a job.”

“Ch-Ch-Charles sssaid they are h-h-hiring at the h-h-hospital and wwwould ppput a g-g-good wwword in fffor you.”

After what Honoria had said yesterday, Hawkeye could tell that she was getting nervous again. He took a deep breath and smiled at her. “Hey, I know you are just as nervous about this as I am, but we are going to be great at this. It’s going to be hard at first, but I don’t think Erin expects everything to be perfect.” He looked over at his little girl. “Do you?”

Erin shook her head. “It’s going to be hard, but…” She trailed off. “Can I be honest?”

Hawkeye nodded. “Of course.”

“I would really like to move.”

“You would?”

Erin nodded and then paused. “I don’t like living in Crabapple Cove.” She looked over at Daniel. “I love being here with you, but I don’t like Crabapple Cove. It doesn’t feel like home.”

Hawkeye smiled at Erin. “Thank you for telling me that. It had to have been hard for you. Do you think you would like Boston?”

Erin nodded. “My best friend is there.”

“Who is that?”

“Sung-soo. He told me that I am his first real friend and he is mine. Now, we are cousins and I think that is really cool.”

Hawkeye took a deep breath and looked at his father. “Are you okay with this?”

“Hawkeye, you are going to Boston, not China. You are less than two hours away, plus I feel so lucky that I got to have you home as long as I did. It’s time you go off and start a family of your own now.”

Hawkeye nodded. “You are right. I think after the war, I was just so happy to be back, I couldn’t even think about leaving again.”

“That makes sense, but you need to live your life.”

Hawkeye looked at Honoria. “Do you think you could find a few places for us to look at?”

“Of c-c-course. Dddo you h-h-have any rrrequ-qu-quirements?”

Erin thought for a moment. “We need a yard. Bob needs to be able to run around.” She looked at her dad. “He is coming with us, right?”

Hawkeye smiled at his little girl. “Of course he is. Bob is your dog. Where you go, he goes.”

Erin nodded. “Good.” She looked down at the dog. “I don’t think I could do this without him.”

“And I wouldn’t want you to. Now, what else would you like?”

“I get a say?”

Hawkeye nodded. “This is your home too.”

“Can I have another science lab?”

“I can try, but I don’t know if we can get that big of a house.”

“Oh.”

“I will do the best I can though.”

Erin smiled at her father. “I know you will.”

“I know this doesn’t have to do with the house, but I want to tour this school before I send Erin there.”

Erin looked at her mother. “Am I going to have to wear a uniform?”

“Y-y-yes.”

Erin sighed. “That means a skirt. I hate skirts.”

Daniel bit his lip and looked down. This was going to be a huge adjustment for her, but he knew she could do it. It was also going to be a good experience for her.

Bob barked and Erin looked down at him. “Do you need to go out?”

Daniel smiled at his granddaughter. “Why don’t we take him for a walk? We don’t have many of those left.”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

They walked outside and Hawkeye looked at Honoria. “We are going to get through this. I know it.”

“It just s-s-seems so overw-w-whelming H-H-Hawkkkkeye.” Honoria sighed. She had practiced his name over and over, but still couldn’t do it.

Hawkeye noticed the look on her face and gave Honoria a small smile. “You can call me Ben.”

“P-P-Pardon?”

“If Hawkeye is too much of a tongue twister, you can call me Ben.”

“N-N-No one else dddoes.”

“The last person that called me that was my mother, but I have always liked the name, it was just too hard for my dad to use.”

“A-A-Are you sssure?”

Hawkeye nodded. “You are the mother of my daughter. I think you can call me by my given name.”

Honoria smiled. “Th-Th-Thank you BBBen.”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “Now that we have that taken care of, what else do we need to discuss?”

Erin and Daniel walked along the stream in silence. Daniel looked down at his granddaughter. ‘Whatcha thinkin about?”

“I don’t want to wear a skirt.”

Daniel smiled at her. “Hey, is that the only bad thing you can think of about Boston?”

“No, there is something else.”

“What’s that?”

“You aren’t going to be there.”

“I’m not going to be that far away, and you can call me anytime you want.”

“Any time?”

“Yes.”

“Even if I want to talk at 3 in the morning?”

“Even then.”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

Daniel pulled the little girl close. “This is going to be hard, but everyone wants to support you. I think you are going to love this school so much and you are going to become even smarter than you are now.”

Erin scrunched her face up a little. “I don’t know if I want to be smarter.”

“Why not?”

“Sometimes, I think I am too smart.”

“There is no such thing.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Am I supposed to be scared?”

“Yes.”

“Then I am doing an amazing job.”

Daniel frowned. “What can I do to make this easier?”

Erin shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Well, why don’t you think about it okay? I want to make this as easy as possible.”

“You could move with us…”

Daniel laughed. “That is a good solution, but I like this house.”

“I had to try.”

“I know you did, and it was a good effort.”

“I just… I want to be happy that I am moving, but I thought I was going to like it here too, but I didn’t and that makes me sad.”

“Well, this is going to be a little different.”

“It is?”

Daniel nodded. “Yes. Since you are going to be going to a special school, you are going to be around a lot of girls that have the same interests as you.”

“That’s true.”

“Yes. And that might make it a little easier to make friends.”

Erin nodded. “You are right.”

“I am? I mean, I am!”

Erin giggled and then suddenly froze. “I know what I want to do.”

“What’s that?”

“Can we have a going away party?”

“What do you mean?”

“Can we invite some of mom and dad’s friends and have a moving party?”

Daniel cocked his head. “What are you thinking?”

“Well, I know a lot of dad’s friends, and if we invite some of mom’s friends, maybe I can meet some of the people I will be going to school with and that way, they won’t be total strangers?”

Daniel smiled. “That is a great idea. Why don’t we go inside and talk to mom and dad and see what they think?”

“Okay?”

“Do you have any idea who you want to invite?”

“Sidney and Daisy for sure, and Margaret.”

They walked into the house and Erin kept listing all of the people she wanted to share her special day with.


	23. A New Start Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin gets ready for her first official Winchester party. It of course doesn’t come without its complications.

“N. O. No.” That was the first thing Hawkeye heard as he walked up the stairs of the Winchester mansion. 

“You will have to wear one at school.” Hawkeye bit back a laugh. Someone was trying to get Erin to wear a dress. 

“I’m not at school yet.”

“Well, it’s this, or go naked.”

“I’ll go naked then.”

Hawkeye popped into the room. “Negative.”

“But Grandma said…”

“I know, but remember what I told you?”

Erin sighed. “My body is mine and I should only show it to someone if I really love them.”

“Right. So, please, wear a dress for one day?”

Erin gave a small nod. “Okay.”

Hawkeye kissed the top of her head. “Thank you Firefly. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I will be downstairs whenever you are ready.” Hawkeye left the room and walked into the sitting room where Daniel, Charles, Max, and Sidney were waiting. He smiled at the quartet. “School is going to be hard for her. She REALLY doesn’t like dresses.”

Sidney took a sip of his beer. “So, you like the school?”

“It is amazing. I know it is going to be a little overwhelming for her at first, but I am hoping that she will adjust.”

“I am sure she will. She has just dealt with a lot of changes in a short amount of time.”

Hawkeye sat down and sighed. “I know that you are right, I just… I am so worried about doing the right thing for her.”

“That is parenthood.”

Hawkeye was about to respond when he heard a blood curdling scream. His face went white. “Erin.” He jumped back up and headed towards the stairs when Erin’s tiny frame collided with his body. “Shhh. What’s wrong?”

Erin didn’t respond, she just sobbed into Hawkeye’s shirt.

Ellen stood on the stairs, hand on her chest. “I’m not sure what happened. We were getting ready and I asked her if she wanted to look in the mirror. When she did, she started screaming.”

Hawkeye started to pull away, but Erin dug her nails into his arms keeping him close. He crouched down until he and Erin were looking each other in the eye. “What’s going on?”

Erin tried to take a deep breath but it didn’t work. She looked up and saw Sidney standing in the doorway. She wrapped her arms around her body and started to back into a corner. “DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!!” She started scratching at her arms. Tears burned her eyes and she looked at her father. “Why won’t they come off?”

Hawkeye looked confused. “What?”

“The scars.”

Hawkeye took a deep breath. “Can I tell you something?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I am tired of listening to doctors. All they ever do is tell you what’s wrong.”

Daisy slowly walked towards the young girl. “Can I tell you something? I’m not a doctor.”

Erin raised an eyebrow. “You are going to be a neurologist.”

“Well, yeah, but I’m not one yet. I’m just a girl that has scars like you.”

Erin’s body loosened just a little. “You have scars too?”

Daisy nodded. “Yes.” She unbuttoned her cardigan and slowly slid it off showing the scars on her arms and shoulders. “When I was little, there was a fire at my house, and it burned me really bad. Now I have these scars. They make me sad, but they remind me that I lived.”

Erin slowly held her arms out. “ I flew out the window of the car.”

Daisy looked at the scars. “Those look like they hurt.”

“Sometimes.”

“I bet they really hurt when you miss your parents.”

“How did you know?”

Because I can tell they are hurting you today, and I bet you really wish your parents were here.”

Erin nodded. “Yeah.” She took a deep breath. “ I don’t want anyone to see them yet.”

“I understand that, I bet we can find you a cardigan like I have. It will help hide them for the night.”

Ellen finally broke her silence. “I think I have something you can wear.”

Erin looked over at her. “You do?“

Ellen nodded and then took a deep breath. “I also know exactly how you feel. When I was 16 years old, I tripped going down a flight of stairs, and really hurt my back. So bad that I had to have surgery.” Ellen slowly turned and lifted her hair up showing Erin a scar that started at the base of her neck and went down into her dress. “It still hurts sometimes, and it probably always will, but like Daisy said, it’s a reminder that I lived.” Ellen held her hand out to the little girl. “Let’s go see what we can find to cover your arms, okay?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.” Together, hand in hand, they walked back up the stairs.

\---

About an hour later, people were starting to arrive for the festivities. The main event was that Father Mulcahy was going to bless the new family and Erin had asked if they could have a moment of silence for her parents and Hawkeye was fine with that. He wanted to encourage Erin to remember, yes, this was a new life, but at the same time she needed to remember them. He noticed that Erin was hanging close to the doorway and not really interacting with anyone. He walked over and smiled. “Come here often?”

Erin looked up at her dad. “I don’t know anyone.”

“Me either.”

Erin took a deep breath. “Why did I decide to do this?”

Hawkeye shrugged. “Who knows.”

“I wish Billy was here.”

“What? Where did that come from?”

“He’s not so bad…”

“What makes you say that?”

“When I told him I was moving, he started crying.”

“He did?”

Erin nodded. “Yeah. He said I was pretty cool and that he was going to miss me. I promised I would write.”

“What changed?”

Erin shrugged. “He said that it was useful to have a superhero around.”

“He called you a superhero?”

“Yeah, he said I was super strong and I was able to save lives.”

Hawkeye smiled. “Well, I am glad the two of you made peace.”

“Me too.” Erin looked over and saw a little girl walk through the door. “Dad! She looks like she is my age!”

Hawkeye followed Erin’s gaze and smiled. “Why don’t you go say hi?”

“I don’t want to go alone.”

“Well, I don’t know who that is, why don’t you have Charles introduce you?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.” She took a deep breath and walked over to where Charles was talking to an older gentleman. “Excuse me, Uncle Charles?”

Charles turned and looked at the young girl. “Yes?”

“There is another girl about my age that just walked in, do you think you could introduce me? I don’t want to go alone.”

Charles smiled. “Of course.” He looked back to the gentleman he had been speaking with. “If you will excuse me for a moment.”

The man nodded and walked away.

Charles took Erin’s hand. “Are you having a good time tonight?”

Erin sighed. “Not really.”

“Not really? What’s wrong?”

“I miss my mommy and my daddy.”

“I am sure you do, but Erin, I want you to know something, outside of Sung-soo and Max, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Really?”

“Really. As sorry as I am that you lost your parents, I love that I get to have you in my life and now as part of my family.”

Erin smiled up at him. “You know, that makes me miss them a little less.”

“I’m glad. Now, where is this little girl you want to meet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is only one chapter left in the story. I have already started on the sequel, and I will be posting the first chapter next week when I post the final chapter of the story. I really like how it is going so far, and I hope you’ll continue to follow Erin on her journey.


	24. A New Start Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin second guesses what is about to happen, but realizes that she has so many people supporting her.

After everyone had eaten, they started to get prepared for the blessing. Erin snuck away and found herself in the library. She noticed the piano in the back of the room and went to sit down at it. Her mother had made her take lessons and she hated every minute of it. There was something about sitting still and playing things other people had written that didn’t appeal to her. However, just like with most things she learned, her photographic memory took over and she was GOOD. That made people think she enjoyed it, so she kept going to the lessons to make her mother happy. She leaned over the keys and started to play. This was the saddest song she could think of at the moment, but it matched her mood. When she was finished, Erin placed her hands in her lap and just stared at the keys.

“That is a very sad song.”

Erin looked up at the priest that had just entered the room. “It makes me feel better sometimes.”

“Why is that?”

“I know a lot of bad things have happened to me lately, but they haven’t been so bad that I needed to write a song about them, so something must be going okay.”

“That is very perceptive.”

Erin growled a little. “I hate that word.”

Father Mulcahy adjusted his hearing aid and sat on the bench next to the little girl. “You seem agitated.”

Erin nodded. “Yes. I don’t think I should be, but I am.”

“What are you agitated about?”

Erin sighed. “I shouldn’t be this happy about being adopted.”

“You don’t want to be? If not, I am sure Hawkeye will understand…”

“No! I do want to be adopted and that is the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

Erin started to play with the piano keys. “I loved my mommy and daddy. I still do.”

“I can tell.”

“When Hawkeye said he wanted to adopt me, I was so excited. I was even more excited when Honoria said she wanted to adopt me too. I’m worried people will think that I wasn’t happy with my parents.”

“I see.”

Erin took a deep breath. “I just don’t know anymore.”

“I am going to ask you a very important question, okay?”

Erin nodded. “Okay.”

“Do you want Hawkeye and Honoria to adopt you?”

“Yes.” Erin replied without hesitation.

“Then that is what you need to do. The Bible says ‘love one another as I have loved you’ and I think the family the three of you have made fits into that.”

“You don’t see it as turning my back on my parents?”

“I don’t see it that way at all.”

Erin looked back up at the priest. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t know a lot about the Bible, do you think you can help me learn?”

Father Mulcahey nodded. “I would love to. Now, let’s get this ceremony underway and then you can ask me all the questions you want. Does that sound like a plan?”

Erin nodded. “That sounds like a very good plan.”

Father Mulcahey stood up and extended his hand to Erin. “Come my child, everyone is waiting.”

They walked back into the main room and Erin took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for this, but she needed to be. She just had to remember that her mommy and daddy had left her with Hawkeye for a reason and now they were going to have a great life together. She smiled and ran over to her father and hugged him tight. “I love you.”

“I love you too Firefly.” Hawkeye kissed her on the head. “Don’t tell anyone, but I am so nervous.”

Erin looked up at him. “You are?”

Hawkeye nodded. “I have never had a daughter before, what happens if I mess up?”

“I think you are doing okay so far.”

“You do?”

Erin nodded. “Yeah! You have kept me safe, you have made sure I have food and an education… And most importantly, you love me.”

“Well then, it sounds like I am doing everything right.”

Erin smiled at him. “You are!”

“I am glad I have someone who has experience being a daughter to tell me these things.”

Erin giggled a little. “Well, I hope you think I am doing a good job of being your daughter.”

Hawkeye smiled. “You are doing an amazing job! I know that you are dealing with a lot of things right now, but I love how kind you still are to everyone and you do your best to understand.”

Erin leaned against Hawkeye and sighed. “I can be honest with you, right?”

“Always. That is all I ask.”

“As happy as I am that you are adopting me, I wish you didn’t have to.”

Hawkeye gently rubbed her back. “I know. And as much as I love you and love that you call me dad, I wish I could have stayed Uncle Hawkeye for a long time.” He took a deep breath. “But, I am glad that we have each other to get through this.”

“Me too.”

“Now, what were you talking to Father Mulcahy about? If you want to tell me…”

“I was asking him some questions about the Bible. I think I want to learn.”

“I’m glad. I have never been very religious, but I respect people that are.” There was a clinking against a glass and Hawkeye looked at his little girl. “I think it’s time. Are you ready?”

Erin nodded. “I have never been more ready for anything.”

Hawkeye smiled at her. “Well then, let’s go start our new life.” Hand in had they walked up to the small platform that the Winchesters had erected. Hawkeye took a deep breath and walked up to the podium. “I want to thank all of you for coming tonight. It is a big night for both Erin, Honoria, and I. If even 6 months ago, you would have asked me about kids, I would have laughed and said I was happy being single and childless.” He wrapped an arm around Erin and pulled her close. “Then Erin Ilsa Hunnicutt was brought into my life and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me.” He took another deep breath. “I am not saying it has been easy, seven year old logic is hard to fight against.” There was a small laugh. “But I do know that anything we are facing, we are facing together.” He looked down at Erin. “Right?”

“Right.”

Hawkeye smiled at her and looked back at the other party goers. “I feel blessed to have Honoria Winchester by my side as we navigate through the craziness that is parenthood.” Hawkeye swallowed in an attempt to keep his voice level. “I have asked Father Mulcahey to bless our new family and Erin has asked for a moment of silence in memory of her parents. While I can’t express with words how much I miss them, I am grateful for the gift of Erin in my life.” He looked down at Erin. “Is there anything you wanted to say?”

Erin nodded and walked up to the podium. She tried to stand on her tiptoes, but finally, someone brought over a small stool for her to stand on and she cleared her throat. “I want to thank you all for your kindness the last 5 months. I spent the first 6 years of my life in California with just my mom and dad, and Uncle Hawkeye visited occasionally. Since I have moved here, I have learned that there are so many people that love me and want what is best for me.” She took a deep breath and tried to focus on who exactly she wanted to thank. “I want to thank Daniel for welcoming me into his home. I want to thank Sidney for being the BEST emotions doctor. I want to thank Bob, my dog for sticking by my side during all of this. I want to thank the Winchesters for accepting me into their family and making me feel like I belong.” She looked over at her father. “And I want to thank Hawkeye for loving me. I know he told me I didn’t have to thank him for that, but I don’t think he realizes how much it means to me.” She smiled “And I hope he knows that I love him so much and I am excited to start this adventure with him and my mom, Honoria.”

Erin stepped down and Honoria pulled her into a hug and Hawkeye kissed the top of her head. They were ready for this. He looked over at Father Mulcahy and nodded.

The priest stepped forward and took a deep breath. “The Lord be with you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming on this Journey! Be sure to follow Erin's adventures in Erin and Us!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I hope you stick around to see where this story is going and I hope that you enjoy watching the growth of both Erin and Hawkeye as they attempt to navigate life together!


End file.
